Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Xmen Revolution. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Devereux, Jenna
Topic Started: May 23 2013, 02:31 PM (589 Views)
Jenna Devereux
Unregistered

[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align]

NAME: Jenna
CONTACT: E-mail or PM's
HOW YOU FOUND US: google search
OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE none yet
RULES CODE: Blackbird


CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: None

[align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align]

[align=center]Posted Image [/align]

BASIC INFORMATION

CANON OR ORIGINAL: Original
AFFILIATION: X-men

FULL NAME: Jenna Devereux
CODENAME:
NICKNAMES: Jen, Jessie

CURRENT AGE: 21years old
DATE OF BIRTH: 21st May
MARITAL STATUS: Single
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: straight
BASE OF OPERATIONS: Xavier school
TIME AT INSTITUTE: 6 months
REGISTERED WITH SHIELD? no
HOMETOWN: new Orleans
KNOWN RELATIVES: none

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 5'1”
BUILD: she is slender and feminine, but muscular in her build
EYES: Blue
HAIR: blond with dark
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: A scar across her left hip
CLOTHING STYLE:
Jenna likes loose casual clothing especially if she's not working, she likes loose cotton shirt's or tee shirts, her trousers are always jeans or leather, if she's on a bike. She does like to wear a dress but only every now and again. She wears both knee length and ankle boots, sometimes trainers but that depends on what mood she is in that morning and if she is going for her morning run.
UNIFORM:

POWERS

GENERAL DESCRIPTION:
She has the inept ability to learn through muscle memory how to use any weapon or skill she sees or comes into contact with. But this is only to a certain degree, as she retains only the memory of six weapons or skills she has learned at any one time. Any more than that and she loses a previously learned skill, be it a skill she has seen or the retained memory in a physical Item such as a gun or throwing star. Once she has mastered an opponent's physical movements, she can then predict her opponent's next attack and counter it the best she can, making her useful in a fight.

Apart from her learning ability she real doesn't have much to go on, she is schooled and is self taught in the ways of the street, having lived on it as a kid for six years. She is meticulous in her hygiene she will shower at night before she sleeps and when she leaves to go any where important.

WEAKNESS:
Her weakness is that she can't learn a mutant's ability even if she was to touch them. She also can't retain more than six ability’s at once, if she tries, any one of the previous ability’s or skills are forgotten and are replaced with the new one, so she limits herself as to what she knows and when she takes on a new one . This makes her a vulnerable catch for any faction who would want to use her. She also has a rather quick temper that gets her into many bar fights. She will never start the fights but likes to finish it.

PERSONALITY
Jenna is a head strong, strong willed fighter, she will not let any person tell her she can not do her work nor live how she feels she should be. Her heart is surrounded by a shell of ice that only some one who is strong willed and as stubborn as she can brake through. So far she has not come across any one willing to get close to even try too. She will talk to others but rarely says much preferring to listen rather than say anything to make her look foolish. When she does speak her voice is soft and warm and she will, sort of know, what she is talking about.

She will focus on her job and she can be a bit of a bitch, if she doesn't like some one, or if some one has annoyed her. She won't hurt children and mutants choosing to help them rather than hunt them, which some have come to her asking her to do. She won't accept things as they are her father taught her to look deeper than just the surface which is what she has been doing since her father died in the accident. Her thoughts some times drift back to that day and she hardly talks about it, using it to drive her on in her life and if any one does talk to her about it she will quickly get angry about it.

HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE

She was brought up by her father as a lone parents after her mother disappeared two days after she was born. But no matter how hard her father searched, moving from one country to another he could not find her and after six years of looking he finally gave up the search and accepted she had to be dead. He took a position as head of genetic research and development meaning she had to go to school. She excelled at school and moved through the high schools she attended fairly quickly. But seeing what the company her father was working for was doing she chose not to join him in his work. Then one day working late in his lab there was an explosion Jessica was supposed to meet him for supper, but was running late, she arrived just as the lab exploded. The pain and suffering she went through made her decide she would not use her ability to aid the government's work but to stay independent for the moment.

DURING APOCALYPSE

Jenna at the age of eighteen found herself thrown into a fight for her life as the horsemen ran amok through London where she now had lived only for two months, she fought close to the x-men but as she thought never close enough. In the end she found a safe haven in a concrete bunker and made it her base of operations. Her job now she thought was to save as many as she could from the horsemen. Each day she ran a dangerous gauntlet out in the world having to kill to survive the madness around her. Each night she would come back and retire to the screened off room at the back of the bunker.

She found over time she had nightmares, seeing the faces of the people she had known days earlier now turned to creatures in front of her. But then one day her bunker was found and she had to flee people, it was then she was injured in an explosion that went off close to her. She managed to stumble into a school where others were being helped with six of the children she had managed to save. Recovery for her was not easy she felt pain and contracted an infection that she self treated. Feeling a tremor she knew something had happened and she kicked herself for not being there.

POST-APOCALYPSE
Jenna healed even if it left her with a scar across her left hip. All around her life was rebuilding but she felt it was false and as soon as she could she slipped out of the school. As much as she wanted to stay, as it was a safe haven, she knew this was not the right time for her to stop running yet. She stayed close to the school watching as things unfolded but staying out of the action but directing anyone who needed them to them. The days soon turned to months and then another year ended for her.

PURIFIERS
Jenna had watched in horror as the news reported the devastation at the school, her heart grew cold at the mention of how many had died, some she knew she had known and left hoping they would be safe. Several months later Jenna was in mutant town checking on some of the people she knew when a riot broke out. She tried not to be involved but could not help it and she felt angry at the government, but she was a realist and helped those she could. Even down to standing with those from x-corp against the purifiers who were trying to attack them, finding herself drawn more and more the into the world of the X-men and the students.

Returning to mutant town where she had a small room she rested, but after several days found the Army roaming around and she knew the fool of a mayor had declared martial law. She reluctantly hid her guns and began to try and let them think she was normal and so not a threat to them. Later that September month Jenna watched on the news about Alex summers trial, she watched it from the start growing ever more angry that they were taking some one who only did what he did out of love and put him on trial, could they not see that, to Jenna they were truly blind, Jenna came to the conclusion they must have been, more so that the man representing Alex. With the attack of the sentinels and the speech by Scott Summers, Jenna started to think about where her life was leading and she started to think if she was going to fight, why not do it on the right side.

SKRULLS
Jenna had at the start had been helping others to the hospital and to get medical help but soon she too needed help, realizing with her body becoming hot and her mind becoming unfocused she needed to get the cure herself. Heading to a meeting area to get the cure she found a fight had broke out and she had no choice but to fight her way to the front. In doing so she met an x-man face to face and that was all it took for her to make her choice to join. Knowing the school could give her what she need she gathered her things and headed for the same school that she'd ran from years before but now she was twenty and she was unsure of how she would be received.
CURRENT HISTORY
[The board runs on current time. Please see Here for board history. Apocalypse lasted for 1 week, almost FOUR years ago. Purifiers was a slow burn up into the attack on New York and the Skrulls lasted for just a few days in the minds of the general populace. What have you been doing since then?] Also note that some factions will require different aspects of history. If you're not sure, contact staff or the faction leader for the faction your character is applying to be in.


Jenna now with the world some what back to rights traveled, staying in taverns and inns as she made her way across the country. She worked in some to pay for her room, ether as a bouncer or a bar lady. Jenna after several weeks arrived at the school but it took her a day or two before she entered it. Remembering just how it looked last time she had been their she felt some what sad. She saw nobody that she knew, but Jenna sadly knew that would be the case but the longer she stayed the more she felt this was where she needed to be everything had pointed in her life to being their, even though it had been rebuilt. She enrolled at the school still keeping her ability secret not knowing if the school accepted those with mutations since it was a public school now.

Now she just needed to fight her urge to leave but this she found she could control with meditation and sneaking out to a near by inn for a drink to help her sleep or after for her nerves but she always made sure she work it off before returning and never drank on school grounds. She hasn't got a problem with drink but it helps with her nightmares if she can;t get to the inn she will work out in the gym.
SAMPLE RP POST:

Jenna woke for the second time that night in a cold sweat her sheet damp where she had laid. Sighing she slipped from her bed and began to strip it. Soon it was as if nothing had happened , gathering the sheets that now lay on the floor she headed to the door. Opening it slowly she looked into the hallway she was not surprised to find it empty of people. Quietly she walked out and in nothing but her pj's and bare feet she walked to the kitchen hearing voices as she passed some rooms and the rec room. Jenna shook her head making her hair bounce as she walked. She could not help but feel her stomach rumble since she had missed supper that night having been meditating and not feeling the need to eat.

Reaching the kitchen she entered and placed the sheets in a basket but on seeing the fridge she debated weather to make something for herself while she was there. With the second rumble of her tummy she made up her mind and moved to it. Grasping the handle she felt the cold steel in her fingers as she pulled the large door open. Jenna shivered at the blast of cold air that came from with in keeping the food from spoiling. Taking some cold meat and bread she moved to the work-surface closing the fridge with the side of her foot it swing gently closed behind her. Placing down the food she paused and looked out the window at the view she saw she had never thought that this day would have ever happened.
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Marrow
Unregistered

Hello, Jenna. Welcome to XMR. Thanks for interest and welcome to the app review process. Two of our staff will be going over your submission and help you to make it fit as best as possible. There's good stuff here, but there are issues needing worked through before we can accept and stamp it.

First off, the spelling and grammar in this needs proofread through. Read it back to yourself and note misspelled or misused words (example; at one point you used break instead of brake, and then in the power description you say she has "the inept ability..." rather than adept- this is a very important difference.) as well as working on punctuation. It makes it hard to read sometimes. it's not terrible but like I said when you first showed up, we do like it to read well.

we like to be relatively hands off in regards to play-by selection, but sometimes, things just don't fit. Charlize Theron as a 21 year old woman, unless you use very very old pictures of her, really pushing over the limit. You need to either find someone more suiting or make her age reflect the claim.


You say she can learn skills/maneuvers via seeing them done, but what exactly do you mean by touch? Assimilating abilities, whether practical or otherwise, through touch is something other than what you pitch it as.

How does that work? Does she read the muscle memories of the people she's touching through some sort of comic-book science? Is she psionic? I need a bit more detail.

Weaknesses are overall fine though I'd like you to put a limit on just how long she can retain given skillsets. Hours? Days? Weeks? Indefinitely? Also, is starting barfights a legitimate weakness or is that there for padding?

====

The History is where we run into the most problems.

Her mother dies and this somehow spurs her father to go join a genetics r&D firm. Six months of searching and she's dead, not just a run-off. There's very little detail in most of the history but this is a very glaring example of it. More detail.

The X-Men present in London during The Horseman of Death's attack are heavily defined by the play of that event in game. You need to be careful when you say that she worked closely with the X-Men there, had she joined them at that point? Was she just a sidelined civilian trying to help them? Again, details. Also, I don't the concrete bunkers grow like potatoes in the London underground, but given WWII I'll let someone else pass judgement on that fact.

Your history is alright until the Skrulls. What was she sick with? The cure mentioned in the history was for the Skrulls themselves, not the people. People were effected by a psychic wave of mind control, but unless you had her in the Savage Lands with the X-Men you wouldn't have her getting sick with any need for the Skrull cure. It was designed to eliminate the Brood and to regress the Skrulls into a more passive state.

The history needs a bit more detail and needs to be a bit less nonsenical in areas. The app isn't terrible, but it's in serious need of proofreading and some edits to that history by way of detailing and clarification.

Post here once edits have been made. If you need help feel free to contact staff.
Quote Post Goto Top
 
Betsy Braddock
Member Avatar
Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
This app has been sitting idle. Please contact a member of staff for help, or make the requested edits by June 11th if you're still interested in playing, otherwise it will be moved to denied for lack of activity.
[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Betsy Braddock
Member Avatar
Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Moved to denied through inactivity. If the player wishes to rework this, please contact staff.
[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Create a free forum in seconds.
« Previous Topic · Denied · Next Topic »
Add Reply