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Crow, William; Vagabond
Topic Started: Aug 31 2013, 11:48 PM (676 Views)
Vagabond
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[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align]

NAME: Dartmoor, Dude, Vagabond
CONTACT: PM please
HOW YOU FOUND US: google this name after hearing it somewhere a number of years ago. I believe it was a topsite but unsure of which :/
OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE none
RULES CODE: Blackbird

CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_comic_book_superpowers
http://x-men.wikia.com/wiki/X-Men_Wiki
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...showtopic=13910
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...?showtopic=8790
http://marvel.wikia.com/Forge_%28Earth-616%29
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...showtopic=12633
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...4072&st=0&#last

[align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align]

[align=center] Posted ImageBen Whishaw[/align]

BASIC INFORMATION

CANON OR ORIGINAL: Original
AFFILIATION: X-Men/Xavier’s School

FULL NAME: Dr. William Benjamin Crow Jr.
CODENAME: Vagabond
NICKNAMES: Will , Crow, Mack, Fool
[Aliases/AKA] Wolfgang Hansa, Connor Moriarty, Macbeth, “The” Vagabond

CURRENT AGE: 56
DATE OF BIRTH: October 29, 1957 looks 1985
MARITAL STATUS: Single
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
BASE OF OPERATIONS: Xavier’s Institute
TIME AT INSTITUTE: 3 years
REGISTERED WITH SHIELD? Yes?
HOMETOWN: Glasgow, Scotland
KNOWN RELATIVES:
- William “Prophet” Crow Sr. (Father, Deceased)
- Elizabeth Crow (Nee’ Lebois, Mother, Deceased)
- Jane Crow (Sister, whereabouts unknown)
- Samuel Malcolm (Cousin, whereabouts unknown)
- Miranda Goodson (ex-lover, whereabouts unknown suspected dead)
- Desmond Crow (bastard son, whereabouts suspected but unknown)

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 6’2
BUILD: skinny, but in shape enough to hold his own in a fight.
EYES: dark green, but can appear brown or muddy green in different lights
HAIR: dark brown and messy. Usually has a beard but has been known to shave from time to time
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: large scar stretching across the left side of stomach from an operation he had as a young child. He bears the words “Left” and “Rite” tattooed on the corresponding knuckles and the area from his wrists to his elbows on both arms has tattoos of chains wrapping around them. On his upper back from shoulder to shoulder tattooed in roman lettering is the word “AETERNUM”
CLOTHING STYLE: Normally Vagabond’s clothes are of a punk or grunge nature. On a typical day he’ll wear slim fit torn up jeans, usually some unordinary color, and a long, similarly slim fit T-shirt, usually baring the name of a rock band or famous movie. With this, depending on the weather, he’ll wear a sweatshirt or jacket. On his feet he wears either Doc Martins or Vans. He makes a point to make himself appear youthful via clothing, a skill he’s learned over the years to conceal his age, and has come to settle on a style.

When teaching however, and when on school hours, he attempts to dress up. He wears a suit with jacket and vest, accompanied by the occasional tie, bow tie, or scarf. He will occasionally throw in a top hat or bowler hat.
UNIFORM: Will’s suit is a mix of his old “professional” outfit and the common X-Men uniform. While the colors and base suit are of X-Men origin, he has modified them. While designing his outfit, due to his lack of offensive powers, he wanted to ensure he was prepared for any mutant attack, but also stealth. On his torso he wears a military-style vest, accompanied by a climbing harness with carabineer. On the front, four flashbangs line up in a row covering his belly, and on his chest are a smoke grenade and military combat knife on either side. On his back is15-foot coil of rope and a quark axe. He wears a hood over his head, as well as a basic gas mask modified to fit a flash light on. In addition to all this, his knuckles, forearms, elbows, knees and shins have extra leather padding for close combat and other safety issues.
POWERS

GENERAL DESCRIPTION:
Innate Capability
Also called Intuitive Aptitude or Instinctive Aptitude, Will has the ability to instantly learn and understand the complexity and exactness of concepts, ideas, or physical things without the need of long-term or special education. You can imagine it as “Super Intuition”. It’s a skill that’s both saved his life AND filled his pockets. Whilst doing a job, he would just get this tingling sensation that something was going to go wrong. Sure enough, ten minutes after they legged it, some authority figure would show up, intending to arrest someone who wasn’t there. This ability, as with all his others, cannot be turned off.

Superhuman Mentality
In addition to his super intuition, Will has Superhuman Mentality. In calm environments, he is able to process information and complex ideas twice as fast as the typical human brain. His ability REALLY takes effect, however, in instances when he has high adrenalin. He is able to calculate the exact distance and the amount of force that needs to be produced to jump from one place to another. In close combat, he can predict movements a fraction of a second before they happen (this does not mean he can fend off the attacks). He can even read people’s emotions based on their facial features in high-stress environments. This power cannot turn off, however as stated above, it only truly demonstrates itself in moments of danger.

Prolonged Mortality
Will would probably describe this as the most “annoying” of his powers. Will ages nearly exactly half the speed of the average human being. His internal clock ticks massively slower. So, at age six he’d look three, at age twenty he’d look ten, at age thirty he’d look fifteen, and he now currently fifty-six but looks twenty-eight. He estimates that at this rate he will die of old age sometime between 140-160 years old. This is incredibly inconvenient, as some of his oldest friends are now just fossils, whereas he is just coming to enjoy his youth. The worst part is that he does not gain an old man’s maturity or wisdom, instead he gets all that experience in the brain of a young adult who still doesn’t want to settle down.

WEAKNESS:
The first, and probably most notable negative effects of Will’s mutation, is its idle state. To quote Sherlock Holmes, “[His] mind rebels at stagnation”. When left in a room alone for several hours, his mind begins to cannibalize itself, attempting to find and solve problems where there are none. He will go out of his way make assessments of random aspects of the area, attempt talking to himself to create conversation…anything to stimulate his brain.

The next is his constant paranoia. He is unable to trust anyone without knowing them for a long while or being in an intense situation in which the person trusted him enough. This is largely due to his inability to be trustworthy in the past, and now that he is attempting to resolve his issues, he now has trouble with placing his trust in others.

PERSONALITY
If Will could describe himself, he would call himself “the experience, wisdom, and soul of an old man trapped in the mind, body, and maturity of a young one”. In some ways he acts even younger than he is. He loves to joke around and have fun, and won’t hesitate to try and make someone laugh. He’s weird and kooky and enjoys many things involving many other things. He tries his best to stay positive, for whatever good it does him. Unfortunately, the main reason he hangs out with people so much is that being by himself drives him insane. Not literally of course, but with a hyperactive mind such as his it’s hard to stand still. He gets bored VERY easily.

Besides the above he’s fairly mild mannered. He’ll get sad if you say something sad and he’ll break your nose if you make him angry. Ironically, despite the nature of his mutation, he is a HUGE punk rock, classic rock, and grunge fan. This is probably due to the fact he grew up while they were getting started, and he always had to maintain an air of youthful hipness, and eventually the music stuck. What originally started as a cover eventually turned into a true passion.

A side-note of course to have is Will’s MASSIVE paranoia. Having screwed over so many people in the past, it’s not hard to imagine that he might actually get screwed over one day. To his allies, Will is incredibly loyal, but to anyone outside of his close friends, his trustworthiness is debatable. And because of this, it takes a lot of work to get Vagabond to trust you.

When it comes down to mutants, Will is fiercely supportive of their rights. This does not mean that he dislikes humans, but he didn’t spend 20 years with his father without learning SOME prejudice. He believes most all humans are good, but when mutants are attacked, it’s hard not to blame the other species.

HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE
Will was born to a wealthy and powerful Scottish business mogul mutant, and his wife. Will Crow Sr. and his wife Elizabeth were renowned in the mutant world for being stark mutant supremists and believed homo sapiens were the lower species. To those who knew him as a mutant, William Sr. was called “Crone”, after his ability shape shift his appearance to make himself older or younger, and was a member of an early Hellfire Club. He was known to have massacred dozens of non-mutants. When Will was born they were ecstatic to immediately find he already had a mutation from birth. As he went on aging half the normal rate, his mutation began to show dramatically. By the time he turned ten, he still had the body of a five year old, and his younger sister was being born. Jane was a troubled young girl, and her mutation was never fully understood by Will. It appeared she had telepathic powers that had mostly to deal with fear and nightmares. She scared easily as a child, and one night in a fit of violent panic, her mutation manifested on her mother, and Elizabeth Crow killed herself after being scared quite literally to death. Since then it has always been hard for Will to talk about or make contact with his sister, as he was not entirely sure if he angry with her or terrified.

Will grew up educated in his father’s views but never missed an opportunity to question them. He constantly attempted to convince him of the error of his ways, but Will Sr. would not have it. It was around Will’s 16th birthday that he was introduced to his cousin, Samuel, who had been placed under Will Sr.’s custody after the death of his parents and aunt. Will Sr. shunned the boy, as he was the only “homo sapien” in his immediate family, which made his life with the Crows so much harder. The non-mutant boy had been born only four months before Will was, and so looked much more his age than the boy, who now had someone to talk to. Samuel shared Will’s doubts on his father’s views, but took it a step farther. After careful planning and discussion, Will and Samuel decided to escape Will Sr.’s clutches. Whilst spending Will’s 20th birthday at a family lake-house, the boys started a fire, and proceeded with their plan. In the commotion, Will Sr. attacked Samuel, who in self-defense drowned the old fool. It would take a while, but Will would eventually forgive Sam for this, knowing the tyrant deserved what he got. Despite their best efforts, they could not save Jane, though she was seen escaping the fire.

They spent the next four years or so travelling around Europe, never staying in one place once. Learning the thief’s trade, with Sam’s true-age body and Will’s superior intellect, they quickly ended up earning a living. They walked under the guise of brothers. Unfortunately, Sam began to have thoughts of settling down; a thing Will never wanted to do. After falling in love with a girl in Tuscany, Sam bid farewell to his cousin, and the two friends went their separate ways. Will spent four years wandering, before he met a tight nit group of about 23 teenage and young adult thieves in Germany who called themselves the “Unfug Konigen” or “Mischief Kings”. Within the fold in addition to better techniques in thievery, he learned combat, favoring unarmed combat as well as knives, however his real expertise was in the intelligence business. He made close and deep rooted friends there, taking on the alias of Wolfgang Hansa, though they all knew him to be Scottish, nicknaming him “MacBeth”. As the years went on and their familiarity with him deepened, they began calling him “Kindergesicht” (Baby Face) after his odd aging process. MacBeth, however, was a name that stuck, especially outside the group. His and many other names became commonplace in backstreets and alleyways, and soon the Mischief Kings were one of the most powerful thieves guilds in all of criminal Europe. They were the go-to guys for anything from bank robbery to jailbreaking to drug trafficking and even white collar out-smarty-ness. Their numbers grew, but they never went above 60, and the group had only one base. Members were from all nationalities. Taking advantage of their brief moment of influence, the group planned a heist on an incredibly wealthy Head of one of the top American Colleges. Unfortunately, their plan was cut short. A group of international police and other law enforcers of various nationalities tracked down and launched a strike on the thieves’ base. Many died, including the group’s leader, whose spot was filled by a Swedish mutant (unknown at the time) named Gunnar. Only a small group of 15, led by Gunnar, survived. It was clear that the group could no longer remain in Europe, so they decided to continue with the big heist previously planned. So the group left for the Southeast of USA, and took on aliases to better fit their setting. Will took on the name Connor Moriarty. After reaching the school, the Kings set up shop, and the job began.

The infiltration and investigation of the job took a long while, three years in fact, in which time Will met Miranda Goodson. Miranda was remarkably intelligent, funny, stunningly beautiful, and everything Will looked for in a woman. It was the first time he actually fell in love with someone. Within those three years they grew close and trusting, enough for Will to tell her his real name, and hints of what he was really doing on the campus. Back with the group, things were running so smoothly that no one even noticed they were running into a trap. When Will came back after a night with Miranda, he had found most of what remained of his friends killed, minus three. He met with the three other survivors, who had explained someone within the group had betrayed them, and they were met by the Head’s men, who killed them on sight in rage. Fearing others knew of their survival, the four made a pact to go their separate ways and start anew, that they could avoid capture or death. Fearing for Miranda’s life, Will agreed.

Will was now approximately 43, and he decided if he were to lead a normal life, he would get a university education. So after talking with some old contacts, he managed to produce a fake high school education resume, and applied to Oxford in England. Will even applied with his real name, one he hadn’t worn in many years. He found the experience oddly easily for him and after some years graduated majoring in “Psychology, Philosophy, and Linguistics”, and minoring in Teaching, and then later on received a PHD in Psychology. Just after his ceremony, he saw an oddly familiar face, much older than he remembered. It was Samuel. A night’s worth of drinking in reunion commenced, with the two men, one looking just barely twenty-four and the other nearly fifty, gossiped and laughed at each other’s stories. After a long while, Sam told Will that his sister was still alive, but Sam did not know where. She was apparently seen working with SHIELD in Asia, but Sam made clear he did not know for sure as he didn’t see it with his own eyes. When questioned how he found him, Sam told him he had found Will’s son, Desmond. When Will asked, Sam quickly replied that he had discovered Will’s old lover Miranda, who, in Will’s absence, bore him a son. Overwhelmed, Will tried to shake off the subject, which he would later come to ignore and deny he had a son. When asked to stay, Sam simply replied he had to keep moving as he was trying to get into the Mutant Civil Rights movement, and after few weeks left Will.

Already bored with normal life, he returned to America and took the name “MacBeth” once again, but still keeping his birth name. He became a soloist, by day making tons of money off the stocks with his superhuman intellect, and by night he worked streets and alleyways, taking any job he was given with one exception; he would not take assassinations. He went on a few years like this, living in the finest penthouse hotel rooms and working the darkest places as well. MacBeth even managed to accumulate a tiny web of contacts and underlings. He never stayed in one place for more than a week, and this is where he got his name today: The Vagabond. All this was going quite well until it became apparent that he had been stealing all the jobs from a small crime syndicate. In one night, William Crow Jr.’s world was torn down. Having only a duffle bag of clothes, a backpack, and the names and addresses of some of his closest friends, Will fled his temporary life of luxury. He reached out desperately to members of groups like the Morlocks and X-Factor, in which were some old friends of his. 2 months later it was January 1st, 2009.
DURING APOCALYPSE (April 7th through April 12th, 2009)

It’s safe to say that after the apocalypse started, Will became very interested in current world events. In the brief months leading up to the official Apocalypse, he was hearing about of some strange things happening. Fearing something was afoot, he traveled to the London in hopes of reconnecting with his cousin Sam, after being led there by a contact. It was around this point that the Horsemen revealed themselves, and the first thing Will noticed on his drive into the city was the Undead. They were everywhere, and as Will went deeper into the city, he realized that if Sam really was here, he was long gone. After fighting some off, he got cornered in the suburbs, where was saved by a group of misfit mutant teens who thought they could do something good by coming in town. As thanks for saving his life Will offered to try to get the kids crossing to America, but they declined. Sensing he no longer had a need to stay in Britain, Will left for America, but not before he landed in Nova Scotia.

Nova Scotia was where Apocalypse started for Will. Though the New York Hurricane was much further south, it gave birth to ghastly floods and horrible, unending thunderstorms. Cut off from most contacts, Will found himself living on the streets of Halifax, using every chance he got to try and get a message to the X-Men. He didn’t even know why he did in particular, as they were the one major mutant organization Will knew of that he couldn’t find a contact in. He assumed he thought it was the right thing to do, and they were the only ones who could help. He sat in flooded basements of abandoned apartment buildings, not having any knowledge of what was going on besides the local newspaper. He prayed each night that his solitude would end. And it did. One day, he stepped out onto the bay, the sea at its normal height, and the skies were bluer than ever.

POST-APOCALYPSE
Will was overjoyed to see the X-Men had gotten his message, and had secured his passage to New York. From there he made his way to Boston, where he got in touch with all available contacts known him (at least that were still alive), and became an agent for the X-Men. Any information they needed he would do his best to get it for them. This routine carried on for a time, and Will lived a somewhat stable life (as stable as a thief can be) in a modest apartment. It was interrupted briefly with the X-Men’s brush with the Inhumans, and the Brotherhoods terrorist attacks. This all changed in 2010, with the discovery of a second dimension. As the worlds began colliding, Will’s small and last web of intel fell, leaving him cut off with no one but the X-men to turn to. He remained in his apartment however, determined to lay low, still as the X-Men’s agent but not wanting to get caught up in things. This was his plan until the X-Men called their allies, and he joined their ranks in a joint attack on Onslaught. In the Void, it was not long until Vagabond encountered the Hyde to his Jekyll…Master. This mirror image was stunningly unlike Will, wearing an elegant white suit and tie, shaved head, and speaking in an authentically snobby Scottish accent. After a long battle, both physical and Mental, Vagabond emerged victorious (obviously otherwise I wouldn’t be telling this story). Will finally joined up at the Institute, and his life as truly part of the X-Men began.

PURIFIERS
The Purifiers outraged and disgusted Vagabond far more than he cared to admit. It reminded him of a reverse version of his father. The attacks issued on mutants had made him angry with humanity, but not hate them. It only grew worse when an attack happened at the school. In the wake of the suicide bombing, Will found himself disoriented and bloody, all the while fighting off technologically advanced Purifiers. He eventually made it to a temporary triage center being run by mutants of all creeds, where he fixed himself up and treated others with the help of his ability. As the other mutants packed up to head to Utopia, Vagabond figured he was better off in Boston doing what he did best: Stealing and Spying. Providing what he could to the other Mutants, it was not long before Will joined the front line, and Nimrod was defeated. It was not long before Magneto declared war on humanity, a statement that made Will even more glad he remained in the X-Men.

SKRULLS
It was not long after that a new threat was revealed: The Skrulls. He had returned to the X-Men, trying to help piece together something before it was too late. Will had suspected something fishy from the start, but it was not long before the X-Men were infected. Racing against time, Will tried to help others make a cure. Though he had nearly no experience with chemistry, he would do everything he could to help, but it was not long before his features grew twisted and insectoid. The X-Men went on to use the artificial intelligence Danger to help them slow down the infection, and soon the dispersal of a serum created by the X-Men’s most intelligent minds and the AI cured them. Not long after, a special payload was given to the queen. The World slowly returned to “normal”.

CURRENT HISTORY
When Will originally joined the X-Men, his hope was to become a teacher at the school, most notably of Psychology, as that was what he studied in university, but due to their current situation he has been forced to sub as a teacher for many subjects.

It was not long until a group of supervillains formed led by Dr. Doom, and began causing chaos. Multiple attacks occurred, one of them killing their leader and Cyclops. Soon enough a boy named Prodigy, driven mad, attacked the school. All this was beginning to become too much for Will. When he initially joined he imagined a safe place, and now he believes this X-Men are too involved for their own good. Still, he stands strong and loyal to the school. It’s a noble mission, at least far more Noble than anything he had done before.

It was not long till the Dark X-Men when were discovered, as well as the four time travelers, and all the logic he had 40 or so years ago was thrown out the window.
[The board runs on current time. Please see Here for board history. Apocalypse lasted for 1 week, almost FOUR years ago. Purifiers was a slow burn up into the attack on New York and the Skrulls lasted for just a few days in the minds of the general populace. What have you been doing since then?] Also note that some factions will require different aspects of history. If you're not sure, contact staff or the faction leader for the faction your character is apping to be in.

SAMPLE RP POST:
TIME: 9:30 PM
DATE: November 1st, 2008
LOCATION: Streets of Boston

The skies were dark, and very, very cloudy, but neither snow, nor rain came. All that greeted Will were the honks of passing cars and the conversations of passing pedestrians. He walked quickly, with a purpose, but attempted not to look suspicious, which was not going well. He hoped no one noticed him. He prayed no one would look his way.

His sneakers were worn down, and the shoelaces untied. His dark green jeans were ripped, and torn more than usual. His once awesome Nirvana shirt was now ripped to shreds, bloodied, and hanging by threads. He adjusted his hoodie to hide the bullet wound. It had been a while since he got shot last. He forgot how much they hurt. He would need to find someone to doctor up the hole, but he couldn’t go to the authorities. He had nothing to give them, and if he did the mobsters would be waiting for him.

He dipped into an alleyway and dropped his stuff on the floor. A duffle bag full of clothes and a backpack full of supplies. That’s all he had. He put his hands to his face and brainstormed. Hundreds of possibilities zoomed through his head, but each one seemed to have a risk he didn’t want taking. He pulled his phone out from a charred and blood-stained pocket. He would have to delete half of these numbers later.

Then he came across an alias that made him stop. “Worm” he murmured. It was an old contact, hadn’t been used in four years, , and he assumed the guy had gone on to join the Morlocks. Maybe that’s just the sort of low key help he needed. He hit the call button and put the device to his hear, praying this guy owed him a favor.
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Hey Dartmoor,

Mostly, you’ve obviously worked hard on this but there are a few areas to work on, or simply just for you to clarify your actual intentions, so do bear with me and if you need help, just PM me or another member of staff for assistance.

1. Powers: one thing I’m wondering is why he ages slowly, in terms of how is it connected to his other abilities?

You also have to be a little more exact when it comes to understanding/learning things. He is coming off as having borderline precognition with his veritable ‘Spidey Sense’ there, which does not really fit comfortably, same as his almost empathic prowess. I know he is only reading facial expressions, but if you want to keep that, you need to be more thorough that it is just expressions/body language that he reads, that he can’t just read anyone as not everyone wears their heart on their sleeves, etc.

These powers aren’t bad. But you’re potentially bringing in elements that give him an unfair advantage in the world of RP.

2. Personality: why hasn’t he got the mind and maturity of someone his chronological age, if he can process all these thoughts and absorb all the knowledge? It’s a little strange that he’s in his 50s, but looks in his 20s, but doesn’t even act that, but he still has a doctorate and teaches students. Really think about what you’re doing and how it’ll work in the world of the game in a school environment.

There is no real reflection of his past in your personality, such as his criminal activities, his father, etc. While this isn’t utterly necessarily, it doesn’t balance out when you go on to read his history.

3. Just a pointer but the Hellfire Club has been around since the early 1800s, so his father would have to be VERY old to be part of an early one and indeed it was only relatively recently in its history that mutants became the core of the HFC. Making his parents is fine, but you have to be aware that on XMR we have already created a very large world so try to avoid setting up too big a backstory for your character, especially if his father is going to have gone around massacring people...He wouldn’t have gotten away with that, for one thing.

Okay, the whole paragraph of the Mischief Kings sort of bugs me. I appreciate that finally they were caught, but William seems to show no morality, no conscience, no nothing over drugs trafficking, violent acts, etc. What is the purpose of all of this for his story in the long term? Why weren’t those fifteen even caught and were just able to skip to America to carry on as normal?

Why at 43 did he suddenly decide to stop being a criminal and go to university? No offence or anything, but he sounds mentally unstable in this regard. I know you said he realised he needed an education, but why go to England? Why not stay in America and go to Harvard or Yale or somewhere? Why all the moving around? His fake credentials would need to be second to none as checks are very strict.

Then he’s back in America again… I’m not trying to slam you, characters moving around is fine, but you need to give more reason for it, more justification rather than what sounds dramatic and cool.

Who was he friends with in Morlocks and X-Factor? Why was he friends with them? Morlocks are cut off from society at large and X-Factor are good guys...I don’t see many people from X-Factor wanting to associate with William given his violent background and lacklustre morals and I don’t see why he’d know any Morlocks in the first place.

Apoc:

He happened to drive into London the day Death attacked, and that wasn’t the start of the Apocalypse? That’s pretty unfortunate as he’d have to fight for his life to get out. How was he able to just fly back across the Atlantic in the middle of all of this? It’s too much back and forth, all the time, under circumstances that are highly unlikely.

Post Apoc:

How did he get a message to the X-men? How did he know how to contact them? Why the sudden change of heart from his past? What did he do as an agent for the X-men? Unless you really expand this and explain what he was up to, it’s not really fair to retcon yourself into plots for the X-men if he wasn’t one.

Purifiers:

He’s working for the X-men but stealing and spying? And he’s an X-man? I really think you need to talk to Cyclops’s player to find a more appropriate balance for your character.

If he was in Boston, how did he go to fight NIMROD and the other sentinels, who attacked New York City? If he was in the city for the end of Alex’s trial, like a large amount of other X-men, that works fine. But if he’s going to be an X-man he needs to be with the X-men, he can’t be wandering off and doing his own thing all the time.

Skrulls:

Your section is a little brief, which isn’t a problem so much as you’re not very clear with it. I think you’re talking about him becoming Brood, which means he was with the X-men who got trapped in Utopia. If that’s the case, you need to be clearer.

Current:

I cannot talk for those who are in charge of the school, but if he is going to be a teacher then he needs to be responsible and repentant for his past. The X-men welcome those who want to change, but William’s desire to change isn’t immediately obvious. There’s a lot of drama, a lot of violent drama and while most people with a canon aren’t one to talk, you need to find more balance between his criminal past, his supremacist father and what basically comes off as his immaturity, as some of the pieces of this puzzle don’t fit together. If you want to play a smart kid, play a smart kid, but if you want to play a grown man, you need to give a more concentrated effort to play a grown man.

I'm sorry if this seems harsh or mean. I'm not trying to make you look dumb or feel bad and like I said, if you need help please get in touch, otherwise post a response when you're done. :)
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Vagabond
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Hey! Thanks for the pointers (and no it doesn't sound harsh or mean). I am currently working on the edits.

However, I wanted to post just to mention that I have a lot of major essays due tommorrow/also monday so I may not get the revisions in as soon as I like. (I just wanted to post ahead so that it wouldn't seem like I wasn't interested anymore or anything.
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Surge
Unregistered

Hey vagabond. Sorry there hasn't been much movement but I'm not sure if ou have made your edits. Still working on this?
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Tessa Ayasli
Unregistered

Is this app still being worked on? If so respond here by October 20th or it will be moved to denied.
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