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Hellman, Andrew; Wraith
Topic Started: Sep 4 2013, 09:36 PM (928 Views)
Andrew
Unregistered

[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align]

NAME: Chris
CONTACT: PM me if you need to, otherwise I only use email, I'll give me email to anyone who PMs me.
HOW YOU FOUND US: google
OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE: none
RULES CODE: Blackbird

CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: Mine.

[align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align]
[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align]

NAME: Andrew Hellman
CONTACT: PM me if you need to, otherwise I only use email, I'll give me email to anyone who PMs me.
HOW YOU FOUND US: google
OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE: none
RULES CODE: Blackbird

CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: Mine.

[align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align]

[align=center]Posted Image
[/align](


BASIC INFORMATION

CANON OR ORIGINAL:Original
AFFILIATION: Other

FULL NAME: Andrew Hellman
CODENAME:Wraith
NICKNAMES: Spider, Spits, Four, Hellhound, Thomas Regal (alias),

CURRENT AGE: 31
DATE OF BIRTH: 4/2/82
MARITAL STATUS: Single
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Straight
BASE OF OPERATIONS: The Bar and Grille Ny, Ny
TIME AT INSTITUTE: Never

REGISTERED WITH SHIELD? No.
HOMETOWN: Trenton NJ
KNOWN RELATIVES: He has a living father also named Andrew. He knows of no one else.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Tall, thin and athletic. Looks more like a cyclist than a bodybuilder, he’s lanky and wiry. His eyebrows are slightly too large for his face. His right pinky is crooked due to a break that never quite healed right.

HEIGHT: 6'4
BUILD: Thin
EYES: Muddy green
HAIR: Short brown hair. Occasionally sports facial hair.
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: He has a bunch of small scars. Most are faded enough that in a bathing suit from a distance, one doesn't see anything. He has a large gash across his upper back and three bullet scars in his left upper arm. A spider tattoo on his right top forearm and a large spider tattoo on his spine just under his neck. A roman-symbol “IV” on his right shoulder and a 101st Airborne tattoo on the left shoulder. A band of razor wire on his left bicep.
CLOTHING STYLE: Nice three piece suits.
UNIFORM: Even nicer suits.

POWERS

GENERAL DESCRIPTION:

Extra sensory perception: Retrocognition and Aura Reading

Retrocognition is a sense that let's him experience the past visually and audibly. It is always on, he's had to train himself to remain focused in the present. He sees and hears the history of the place he is at, if he wants to see the history of something that moves he needs to follow it. He can look back up to the day he was born.

He can see the past passively or actively, similar to the difference between hearing and listening. The hard part for him is focusing on just the present instead of being overwhelmed by the past.

Passively he sees all the events of the past 30-some years all at once. This could be compared to looking at a forest, but not seeing the leaves. Certain events jump out at him, like violent murders, but for the most part it's all just a fast moving jumbled blur.

His active vision would be (to continue the analogy) like walking into the forest to examine the leaves. He focuses in on one point in time. For every minute he's looking into the past, only one second passes in the present. While doing this his focus on the present is nearly completely reduced, making it hard for him to fight or even walk in a straight line.

By focusing entirely on the present, Andrew is able to see an aura of color around people. The colors he sees represent the spectrum of personality traits, the three easiest to see being courage (red), intelligence (blue) and selflessness (yellow). The brightness of the aura can show the health of the person and whether or not they have mutant powers. Bright light, like daylight, makes it harder to see an aura. Though he can see the auras at a distance equal to normal eyesight, he has to be within about five feet to get enough detail to get a good read. A dark room sitting in chairs facing each other provides the best read.

The primary value of this ability is understanding people and their motives in order to manipulate them. Since writers won't let their characters be manipulated easily, this will primarily only be useful against NPCs or in cooperation with willing writers.

WEAKNESS:

The abilities are powered by his internal body temperature- thus constantly sapping his warmth. The result is he's almost always cold and regularly dresses for weather conditions colder than it is. This does not provide any extra ability to handle the cold. In winter he's often rather miserable (his powers still work fine). His body partially compensates by requiring extra calories.

His retrocognition is limited to his proximity and capacity to follow. If someone disappeared, he'd have to backtrack to their last known spot and then follow. If they entered a guarded location, he'd have to find some way in to keep following. If they teleported away he'd have no way of knowing where they went.

Things like drugs, alcohol, and brain damage in a person cause static in their aura making them harder to read. Other causes of static could be metamental manipulation, hypnosis or cybernetic implants. Additionally telepaths and empaths can block him as can any other mutant power at the writers request.

The power is additionally burdened by the complexity of human existence. A person may be fearless of personal injury, but afraid of facing his own mistakes. Educated, but slow witted. A parent might selfishly steal food to selflessly give it to their child. He can see a lot, but its never completely clear. Lastly he occasionally sees what he wants to see rather than what is really there.

On a practical RPing level, I would consider labeling someone else's character without permission the same as hitting them without permission. With PCs I'd just say "Andrew gave their aura careful study," and leave it there. The other writer can say what he saw, or not

PERSONALITY

His deepest emotional motivations are anger and paranoia. He acts cocky, the kind of cocky that makes your skin crawl. Though this is his true temperament, it stems from his fear of rejection and failure. He grew up very poor and suffered violent abuse, became more violent, and now wears his wealth and success as a thin veneer to hide the poor and violent upbringing that has become a source of embarrassment. His greatest fear is a return to that state: weak, cold and hungry.

Though he has plenty of money, and skills that could lend him much profit in nonviolent non criminal endeavors, he continues to search out violent avenues. Successful violence keeps him feeling safe and provides temporary relief to the fear that he is weak and craven. He is self destructive with a temper that has gotten the better of him many times.

HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE
He was born in New Jersey. Was birthed to a duo of randomly violent nobodies. His mother worked for a small time dealer cutting his product. Her father was a bouncer at a strip club dealing to the customers and strippers.

His mother, though a perpetual drug user managed to keep her son from seeing the worst of it. When she died of an overdose it was her father who found the body. Her father wasn't as careful and for the next several years invited a string of women into their house, each as addicted as the next. By the age of ten his father was teaching him to shoplift, more for the humor than financial necessity.

They lived in a simple two bedroom house twenty minutes outside Newark. It was a quiet area with lots of trees and grass with few neighbors. Every few months the cops would show up looking for evidence. In they search they tore up the walls and floors repeatedly, never finding anything- the drugs were hidden with a secret cache in the stone chimney. The result was Andrew growing up dirt poor in a house with dirt floors, mangled walls and no respect of cops.

Andrew started puberty early, and got his first taste of his mutant power when he was nine and a half. He was in the parents room, looking for spare change, when he heard his mother coming home. At first, being young, he allowed himself to believe she was alive.

He ran into the living room, and she was standing at the kitchen table. He ran to her, and then, through her. He didn't understand it, but he was looking back more than three years into the past. She put her things away, and Andrew followed. He kept trying to touch her and talk to her, but the past is written and he couldn't reach her.

Finally she went to her bedroom and Andrew watched as she locked her door and took off her shirt. He was beginning to understand she wasn't real, but he couldn't ignore her either. A few moments later she was tying something around her arm, and it was then Andrew realized what he was seeing. He begged her to stop, he screamed and fought at the image he could see but not touch. She shot herself up, and laid back. It took thirty minutes for her heart to stop.

When his father came home he found Andrew sobbing in the broom closet, the only part of the house that hadn't seen much use. Here, there was no violence, but still the visions came, and here they came all at once. Nine years of use flashing and blurring before his eyes, it was confusing and awful, and it was the best he had.

His father didn't much understand mutants and didn't realize what his son was seeing. He just assumed his kid was being weak, so he dragged him out and slapped him around. Not bad enough to hurt him, just enough to wake him up. After that day he started teaching his son to box.

It wasn't to last long as six months later, three weeks after his tenth birthday, his father was arrested. The very last memory he had of his father was of four police men knocking him down as he spat and cursed. A snitch had told them about the secret cache, and as it was his third strike he got fifteen years maximum security.

In the years since he hasn't tried to find the grave of his mother, or the current situation of his father. The courts were unable to find any related family members capable of taking him in and put him into the foster system.

Since he couldn't control what he saw he always managed to see the most violent histories available. The basement of his first foster home had been the site of a stabbing, and he would see it over and over whenever he went downstairs. His second foster family were decent people, but they lived in the ghetto and the previous residents were drug addicts that beat their kids daily. There wasn't a room in the house he could find that didn't echo with the screams of those kids eight years past. He ran away and lived on the streets for two cold terrifying hungry nights before turning himself in and being placed in a new home.

His next house was much better, but on the walk to school he'd pass eleven murder scenes, each as brutal as the last. On the bus ride whenever they stopped at a stop sign he'd see all the car accidents that had occurred there. Before he'd had his powers a year he had witnessed over a hundred murders and twice as many accidental deaths. It affected him deeply, numbing him to violence and warping his sense of good and evil.

He learned to act cheerful and friendly to avoid troubles from his foster parents, and he after one family kicked him out of the house for seeing ghosts and he stopped telling people what he saw.

In his early teens he was placed into special foster care, a family experienced with troubled kids. They were very good people, even loving in their way, but he chafed under their rules unable to reconcile his past life with a possible future one. Despite their best efforts his time there was one of minor thuggery and a rotating scene of courtrooms. His visions came more often now, almost constantly, but he still had very little control and considered his powers useless, so he kept then well hidden.

He committed his first felony at the age of thirteen, breaking and entering. He stole his first car at fourteen and was dealing and carrying a gun everyday by fifteen. One night a police officer caught him breaking into a car and tried to arrest him. Andrew spat at the cop, landing a direct shot in his right eye, before running away into the woods. Thereafter the kids called him Spits.

When he was sixteen he was sentenced to two years in juvenile hall for drug possession with intent to sell. In a new place, and always watched, he made the occasional slip up of reacting to what he was seeing in the past. His fellow juveniles thus learned he was a mutant that's when the beatings began.

It was there than Andrew gained most of his paranoia. During this time he fought almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day. He did not learn any real fighting techniques, but it did toughen him up.

When he turned eighteen, he was released from juvenile hall and his record quashed. He joined the military as he had no money, no family and no options. He eventually served in the 101st Airborne Division and excelled with them. It was in the 101st that he learned to focus both his mind, body, and mutant powers. The toughness he’d grown as a kid was leveraged into actual combat training. There too he learned the value of actionable intelligence.

He was sent to Afghanistan when he was nineteen. His fellow soldiers found wars' brutality difficult, he was found the camaraderie more difficult.

He finally learned how to focus his retrocognition in the desert of the Middle East. For the first time in ten years he could finally walk around without being confronted with the worst in humanity. Rather that became his day job.

On one hot august day his convoy was hit with small arms fire. After chasing off the initial wave Andrew led a group of ten soldiers in pursuit. Though he lied and said he was tracking the foot prints, for the first time he managed to to use his power to track the soldiers. He ran after them, knowing he was only a few minutes behind. He caught up to them in a small mud house. They kicked down the front door and Andrew saw the faces of the men he'd been hunting up close and in real time. He pulled the trigger without hesitation. That was the first time he'd killed a person, it wouldn't be his last.

He hadn't expected to care, as many deaths as he'd seen, several thousand by this point, he had expected one more to be easy. It wasn't. His fellow soldiers joked he must be part hound to have tracked those guys as he did, he countered by saying his last name was Hellman were he a hound he'd have to be a Hellhound, the name stuck. He was given a medal for his actions that day in successfully tracking down the men, and he was rather proud and happy to get his revenge, but that night in his bunk he cried one last time. It was the last time he'd cry. In the years ahead he killed several dozen others, and received several more medals.

He was in the military for a total of seven years. He spent a year serving in Australia, and two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. Over the years he gained in rank. He was smart in the field and had the instincts of a killer. He thought of making the military his life career, alas, it was not to be.

During a night of heavy drinking and argument he lost his temper and got in a fight with a superior officer and broke the other's nose, arm and four ribs. He was convicted of assault. He was court-martialed and sentenced to 12 months in the brig, of which he served 24 months for poor behavior.

Everyone wore orange jumpsuits with a prisoner number sewed into the upper right chest. Luck, be it good or bad, gave him the number 003. When they gave him the suit, before both inmate and a guard, he told them they gave him the wrong suit. He said he'd broken four of the colonels ribs, not three. Throughout his time there he was called Four by guard and inmate alike.

When he left the military prison, he was twenty-seven with no career experience besides the minor thuggery of his youth, and his killing skills attached to a dishonorable discharge and time in the brig. So he got a job with a Greek crime family in New Jersey. He was good too.

He didn't want anyone to learn of his powers. He continued to train his powers but, out of shame and fear, he rarely took advantage of them. He spent the first year on the street-level, delivering product and providing guard service. He wasn't family and so wasn't completely trusted, but he was the only former special forces man they had and that afforded some respect.

He made his name known when he discovered one of the men was informing for the police. He was in a warehouse waiting to pick up a bag of product to drive it across town. Looking back through time he saw one of the body guards bugging the phone. He lied, told them the phone looked tampered with, and the bug was discovered. Trying to prove his value he revealed the culprit claiming he was an expert reader of body language.

While the several men argued over what to do, Andrew volunteered to kill him. As a test they let him. This was the first time he'd ever killed someone in cold blood. He didn't hesitate and he felt no regret. One of the ruling brothers thought it was funny how Andrew had spotted the bug and killed the guy cold. "Like a Spider" he'd said.

The next day he was overseeing the labs and was waking in several thousand more a week. He got a spider tattoo shortly afterward and from then on he was called Spider.

DURING APOCALYPSE (April 7th through April 12th, 2009)

Andrew was living in Newark NJ when the apocalypse began. At first the crime family he worked for thought they could use the war for their profit, but when their city was attacked by War, Andrew did the smart thing and ran.

He went to a hidden underground bunker at a junk yard. The bunker had been built in the 60's at the height of the Cold War. The junk yard was now mob-owned and the bomb shelter was used to cook narcotics. He hid in that shelter with two others riding out the madness with only a shortwave radio to keep them informed. There'd been enough water for them, but the food stores had long been cleared out to make room for the equipment. They'd had a small bag of food, but finished it the first day.

After three terrifying days in the shelter, only bad news from the radio and no food, one of the men, Neophytas, cracked. He broke open a brick of Cocaine and snorted a dangerous amount. The fear and paranoia got the better of him and he strangled the third man to death while he slept. Andrew awoke to the other mans' death-throes. Andrews' gun had been put away and so the ensuing fight was close quartered combat of fists and heads. It was bloody and painful. His friend Neo had the energy and size, but Andrew managed to knock him down long enough to shatter a beaker and stabbed the man to death. He never found out why the man wanted to kill him.

He spent another four days in that shelter with the corpses before the fear of starvation and word of the end of the Apocalypse brought him out of hiding. He never told anyone what had happened in the bunker, keeping that small stay in Hell his personal secret. After the apocalypse he never again visited that junkyard, or the bunker beneath.

POST-APOCALYPSE

He went back to work for the family and was rewarded for protecting their assets making him a Made man. Another crime organization controlling much of Trenton had been wiped out by War, and so Andrew was sent to help one of the boss's brothers with opening up the market.

This is when the cops first realized his growing rank. They opened a case on him but he was careful and managed to avoid any charges.

PURIFIERS

Once more, when danger arose, Andrew relied on the better part of discretion. He'd kept his mutant powers a closely guarded secret and spent the timespan of the purifiers hard at work keeping his head down and not much caring about the well being of his fellow mutants.

Hiding out in a backwater town in south Jersey he avoided the purifiers, and most other people all together. He only knew three other mutants, one of which, a discreet fencer with purple skin, was dead before the Purifiers were defeated. Andrew poured out a 40 oz in hid name and found a new fencer.

SKRULLS

By pure happenstance when the Skrulls declared their conquest Andrew was on vacation in St. Thomas. Along with two strippers he was friendly with he was sailing around the island on a small yacht. With the whole world apparently conquered, and with ease, Andrew kept his craft out at sea until the complacent wave came. He then tacked around and headed to port.

When the wave lifted he found he'd spent the entire week helping the local police with local crimes because he thought it would help the Skrulls. Spending so much time doing good without pay was rather humiliating so he took the first plane trip home.

CURRENT HISTORY

Though he was finally making good money, eventually, as in the military, his temper got the better of him. He got drunk, picked a fight with the Boss's cousin, and beat him to death. This was the first time he'd ever killed for no reason at all. That night, he'd sat stone sober in his home with a loaded gun waiting to be killed by the family, and as he waited he wondered why he felt so calm. He had enjoyed the killing and that scared him.

Eventually he came to an arraignment. He had to pay the family a large sum and do a hit on a rival family, but he'd be safe. He now has to stay clear of Jersey as he's made enemies of two criminal families.

He moved into New York after that and got the first legitimate tax paying job of his life (other than the military) as a bounty hunter. His powers made him quite successful.

Two years ago, after a few months of bounty hunting, and regretting helping the police catch criminals, he refocused and started his own firm Hellhound Consulting to recover stolen goods ranging from artwork and high-end cars to diamonds and other rare valuables. He'd charge percentage of an assets value to retrieve it, and quickly started getting wealthy. The cops didn't like him because he didn't help them get arrests, but the owners of the stolen goods (or their insurance companies) were glad to have their valuables back.

That too got boring so he has recently started keeping some of the goods he was supposed to recover. He's finally enjoying a successful career as criminal and his own boss and living utterly extravagantly.

He recently bought a bar down the street from Times Square. It was struggling to stay profitable, but he intends to use it to launder money. The name is superb in its simplicity, The Bar and Grille. Inside, a long bar snakes through the room with tables along the inside wall. His apartment is on the top floor of the building over his bar. He considers himself a successful small businessman, and intends to buy more businesses.

SAMPLE RP POST:

Time: 9:45
Date: September 4th



The limo came to a stop triple parking beside a compact that was double parking a yellow Miata. The woman beside the Miata was yelling at the grimacing man unloading pickled beets from the truck. A cabbie honked at Andrew as he got out and looked around. He smacked the top of the limo twice with a heavy palm, and it drove away leaving him to his own.

He adjusted his suit coat and crossed quickly to the sidewalk. His suit was black. Thin and silky soft black camel wool pants, a black silk shirt over a black silk t-shirt and beneath a black silk tie. The tie, though black, was hand painted from India with purple swirls that reminded Andrew of outer space. The diamond studded tie clip, worth fifteen thousand, held the tie perfectly in place. His vest, more a dark gray, was expertly stitched with swirls of subtly reflective thread. His black coat was of modern fashion with high collar and onyx buttons. His cufflinks were gold with his initials inlaid with white gold and a little gaudy. His watch was diamond studded gold with a rattlesnake band and was very gaudy.

Standing on the street corner he looked with contempt at the homeless man with the grey-grimy hoody. He gave the man his back then, he worth no more attention. He was here for business.

A private art collection had been robbed three days before. The police had no leads, and the insurance company had contracted him to recover the six pieces taken. Six cups worth four million dollars total. They were of asian design and several hundred years old. They were solid gold with dancing figures curved into their exterior and an ivory handle. Red rubies and green They were worth a half million dollars to him if he could get them back.

Using his Back sight he'd tracked the three criminals here. Looking Back four days he watched the three punks, barely in their twenties, get out of their car and go inside. One was tall, one was short, and tge other had a bland boring look with buzzed blonde hair that almost looked white. The cups were in a blue satchel. They were laughing it up and were quite proud of themselves. Andrew followed their steps up a stoop and to a faded green door.

He looked around, and no one was watching. It was late, his black suit hid him partially and with his back to the street no one could see his front as he pulled out a lock pick set and set to work. With practiced ease he opened the door silently and slowly. He withdrew his pistol from a shoulder holster and set about.

He found the three drunk and partying in the living room. They were literally drinking Jack and Cokes from the four million dollar cups. The only visible gun in the room was a shotgun on the coffee table.

It was a rather amusing thought, a two dollar drink in a million dollar cup. Easy enough marks. He crept away and looked in the other rooms to see if anyone else was in the house, they were alone. He went back to the living room.

His pistol was a simple 9mm Berreta with a silencer attachment, and it wasn't registered in his name. He stepped carefully to the living room, looked in once more, they were telling some funny story about a hooker. The story was pretty funny so Andrew waited till the story was over before stepping into the room and raising his gun.

"Play this smart boys, I don't need to kill ya," he spoke quickly and confidently.

The shortest of the three guys, a white kid with shaved head, lunged for the shotgun. Andrew put a bullet into the coffee table a few inches from the kids' hand and he pulled back. "Now that wasn't very smart." Andrew finished walking into the room and took the shotgun and draped it over his back. They hadn't used guns in the theft and Andrew wasn't expecting the three to be very well armed.

"Let's try this again. Ï don't want to kill ya, but I'm going to have to take these cups and your guns. Put them in that bag there, sit back, and let me go. You don't even go to jail, so tomorrow you can go steal something else. I don't care. But any of you make a try to shoot me, I'll have to shoot you first." Here Andrew indicted his suit. "This is a forty thousand dollar outfit and I have a party to attend, I don't want your blood on it. "

"F*** you man!" the tall kid said. Not taller than Andrew, but taller than the others. "Who do you think you are?" The guy looked to be about ready to jump, glaring daggers. Were it not for the gun aimed at his face Andrew was sure the kid would put up a good fight.

They weren't moving to put the cups in the bag, so he shot the lamp by the tall kids' face showering shards of the white porcelain across him and the worn tan leather couch. "I think I'm the guy with the gun son, and unless you wanna be another body in the Bronx, you best hurry up." His aim went back to the kids face. "Now," he threatened, ice on the word.

A moment later two pistols and the four million dollars in ancient asian artifacts were in a 5 dollar Walmart duffle. With a smirk he took the bag. He started backing up and reached the hallway. The rooms were small, dark, dank and painted in filth. He didn't want to get any of it on him and gave the walls great leave. Stepping over several days worth of clothes he rounded the corner. "Feel free to trash talk me after I leave, but I'll put a bullet in anyone steps out this door. Follow his example," he pointed to the blonde kid, the one he hadn't had to shoot at yet. The kid was skinny and clearly terrified, his aura shone blue with intelligence and only the barest flickers of courage. He strongly suspected they'd had to twist arms to even get him to work with them. The tall and short ones were the experienced criminals, the blonde one was the computer geek with a talent to bypass complicated security systems. "Just sit there and take it easy. I saw how easily he broke past that home alarm. He can do it again." With that, Andrew shut the door behind him and moved off down the street.

A few guys eyed him, but Andrew hadn't yet put the pistol in its holster and he had a shotgun on his back, they crossed the street away from him. The lady with the Miata was just now driving off and after he went around the corner he pulled his phone out to call his driver back. It was a good nights work, but he had to get on with it, a charity ball was being held and he had to make an appearance.
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Andrew
Unregistered

Hello mods!! And hello other non mod people's! Hope to make friends here with y'all. :)

The above is my app I wanted to offer a proper hello as well though. My real name is Chris, but for simplicities sake you can call me Andrew. I use to RP regularly like 10 years ago. I tried to start again last year, but I didn't really like the group I joined very much. It just didn't fit. So now I'm trying again.

I saw one (possible?) problem that your ban lost says no mental powers. I took that to literally mean not messing with other people's minds. Is the Astral projection thing too close? It also said no precog, but he's the opposite of that.

Otherwise I'll wait patiently for you all to do as you do.
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Songbird
Unregistered

Hey Andrew. Thanks for applying to XMR. I'm going to start by telling you my biggest problems with this application and a lot of them can be found before I even get down to the personality or the history section.

Basically, an application is not the place to ask so many questions. If you have questions then the admin are here to answer those before you ever apply. Their names are located on the left side panel and if you click on them, you will find contact information where you can locate them. A lot of these questions can be answered by reading the site's rules, reading approved applications to find out what we are looking for, or as I said, asking a member of admin before writing the application out.

Now I'm going to go through your application and list off a couple of things that you have listed that are banned.

The main one that I have a problem with is listed under your sexuality. “Homophobic.” There is no reason for this to exist on a site. We have people on this site from all over the world, different nationalities and races, different beliefs, and different sexual preferences. Even if you are thinking that it would add an interesting twist to your character that might be fun to play, no one else here thinks that.

The powers for your character. Technically retrocognition could work here if executed properly. However, astral projection falls under psionic based abilities, which are banned. This could all be argued and you might disagree, but as everything else on this site, it falls under the discretion of the admin. I'm going to say no to astral projection. I can accept retrocognition though. However, I do not understand the “looking forward (in space)”. So I would like further explanation on what that means and if it looks too much like precog then I will say no to that.

Now moving on to your history.

Your history is very thin all the way through. From the violent parents who died at an early age, to a criminal youth, to a short military career that spins off into working for a crime family, it is sparse. I'm not saying it is all bad or not something I would approve, but it seems very lightly detailed. The portions I have issues with, and this seems to be a problem with a lot of new people, is making your character fit into XMR. The history covers every event in great detail and where it lacks, the admin are here to answer your questions. Spending four days in a bunker with dead bodies would be horrible, by the way. Besides that, I'd like a few paragraphs in each section describing what he was doing or how he survived or why he wasn't involved. It isn't hard, if you read the history. And like I said, if you have questions, PM a staff member and they will help to fill in the blanks. But we do expect you to try to understand on your own by reading them. Honestly, I understand how hard it is to read our entire history but you (and everyone else) should read enough to understand it and fit their character into the site.

Finally, I'll answer a couple of your questions.

Your picture should be saved and then uploaded to a site such as photobucket, imageshack, tumblr, etc, and you need to include the name of your playby.

You need to decide on a faction. Unfortunately, Hellfire is not a faction that is open without Hellfire invitation. OOC, that means that we usually don't let a person's first character be Hellfire because Hellfire is a historically a slow moving faction. If your base of operations is a bar, then you would be an “Other.” If you are on a team, it would be where the team is located.

Decide yourself on a codename. Decide yourself on a nickname. If your character has a criminal past, chances are he is registered with SHIELD.

I know this is a lot, and I hope you realize that I am not trying to discourage you. If you adjust to our site then you could make this into a character that will fit in just fine. Sometimes it just takes a little more adjusting to make a character fit, is all. My recommendation is for you to rework this app from top to bottom, add more detail, remove what I have asked you to, and make some decisions on your character instead of asking questions about it. If you can't answer the question yourself, just ask me or another admin via PM and we will help you.

Post here when you are ready to have this app reviewed again.
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Andrew
Unregistered

Working on all. I'm fine with getting rid of astral projection, but can I swap it with some other sense? Would Remote viewing be acceptable? Or Aura reading? Thermal vision?
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Songbird
Unregistered

Remote viewing, eh. In my opinion, you would have a character that could know anything about anyone and near anything, which retrocognition already provides. Aura Reading, perhaps. Thermal vision, I don't see how that would fit very well. Fix everything above and if you wish to add another power, explain it well and make sure it fits in.
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Andrew
Unregistered

All touched up. Added "Aura reading"
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Andrew
Unregistered

Okay, so I get that people are busy with there real lives. I get that. But it's closing in on two weeks I've been waiting. Meanwhile the other app got approved over night. So whatever. Either the mods aren't active enough or organized enough or my app wasn't good enough. That's fine. I would have fixed the app more if you'd asked.

Oh well. Please delete this app, ill be moving on now. But no hate. I wish you all the best. And for whatever it's worth to the powers that be, I thought the illuminati thing you were doing was clever and original so (no snark) kudos to whomever was behind that.

Cheers,
Chris
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Surge
Unregistered

Did you think to maybe pm songbird or ask for her in the cbox? I was unawarethere was an issue.
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Havok
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Superheated Plasma Blasts
Wow. That's a shame. Sorry for the bad impression. It's been a strange lull here.
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