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| Stone, Steven; Velocity | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 2 2013, 06:25 AM (1,146 Views) | |
| Velocity | Dec 2 2013, 06:25 AM Post #1 |
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Unregistered
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[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align] NAME: Seth CONTACT: PM/Email HOW YOU FOUND US: Google OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE None RULES CODE: Blackbird CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: (Links to sites you may have used to compose this bio) [align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align] [align=center] [/align]BASIC INFORMATION CANON OR ORIGINAL: Original AFFILIATION: X-Men, Legacy Squad FULL NAME: Steven Stone CODENAME: Velocity NICKNAMES: Steve CURRENT AGE: 23 DATE OF BIRTH: May 8, 1990 MARITAL STATUS: Single SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual BASE OF OPERATIONS: Xavier's School for Gifted Youth, Westchester, NY TIME AT INSTITUTE: 8 years REGISTERED WITH SHIELD? No HOMETOWN: Seattle, WA KNOWN RELATIVES: Jasmine Stone [Mother] Richard Stone [Father] PHYSICAL APPEARANCE HEIGHT: 6’ BUILD: Athletic, about 160 lbs EYES: Green HAIR: Brown DISTINGUISHING MARKS: None CLOTHING STYLE: When not in uniform he prefers to dress in dress shirts and slacks. Often wearing red and black. He takes great care in his appearance, and will jump at any opportunity to wear a suit, or other fancy clothes. UNIFORM: His uniform consists of a black form fitting suit with a large red X across the chest. His suit is incredibly durable so as to withstand running at incredible speeds. He also wears bright red goggles when running, to protect his eyes. POWERS GENERAL DESCRIPTION: Super Speed- Steven can run at speeds far faster than the average human. His comfortable running speed is about 500 mph which he can sustain for about two hours without eating, and his comfortable walking speed is about 250 mph. He has to force himself to slow down to deal with other people. The highest possible speed that his mutation allows him to run is 750 mph. He is currently unable to run at that speed, with the fastest he can currently run being around 600 mph, whilst pushing himself to his limits. When running at his fastest, he’s only able to keep it up for a few minutes, unless he eats food to regain calories. He has increased senses whilst running. Allowing him to see and hear as if he were moving at the same speed as everyone else when running at high speeds. He is able to talk while running, but dislikes doing so, because a conversation adds more things that could possibly distract him while he’s running at high speeds. His body has adapted to his incredible speed by increasing his bodies durability, giving him a much faster acting metabolism, stronger tendons, stronger bones, and a brain that can process information fast enough for him to react to his surroundings. However, due to his faster reaction time, most of the rest of the world seems slow to him, making him seem extra impatient to the rest of the world. WEAKNESS: Steven is durable, but he’s nothing compared to many other mutants, and so when he runs into a wall, or misses a sharp turn while running at high speeds, he will be hurt. While he is running he focuses most of his brainpower on the things ahead of him and avoiding a collision, this leaves him especially susceptible to mental attacks. Despite Steven’s impressive reaction time, he’s very easily distracted, making him quite simple to get rid of. He also requires a large amount of high calorie food to keep himself fueled up. His brain works much faster than the average person, leading to him becoming frustrated if he has to wait to do anything. PERSONALITY Steven is impatient, and impulsive. He could be called a slacker, he often puts off all of his work until the last minute. He loves all of the heroics, daring stunts, and saving people that come with being an X-Man, he just hates all the tough choices, the sacrifices, and the pain that comes with it. He’ll more often than not be found at a bar or partying when off duty. He loves to meet new people and loves talking to people. He tries to be as friendly as possible, although he can occasionally be a bit overwhelming. Fitting with his power, he speaks very fast and is almost emotionally untouchable. However, despite his impulsive and impatient nature, he’s very determined to help people when he thinks they need it. He comes across as not very smart due to his lack of filter between what he thinks and what he says, often going off on ridiculous tangents or saying something barely related to the conversation.He’s very forgiving, and almost impossible to make angry. He constantly makes jokes and doesn’t take anything seriously, no matter how important something is, he’ll probably make a joke about it. Despite this, he tends to know when someone is upset, and tends to try his best to cheer them up when he thinks they are upset. He considers almost everyone he meets a friend, and is very protective of his friends. HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE Steven was born to a pastor and a nurse. He grew up and was fairly average. He got acceptable grades, he was okay in sports, and he had a reasonable number of friends. It wasn’t until he began running that he found his true calling. He loved to run, he loved everything about it. He began to do it whenever he could. Despite this, he was still a very average and normal person, and that didn’t change until he was 14. He was running home when suddenly everything around him seemed to slow down. The birds flying overhead, the cars driving on the street, everything. He was terrified. He’d heard of mutants, of course, but the idea that he was one? It was unthinkable. Of course he wasn’t a mutant! He was normal, he wasn’t insane or anything. He hadn’t done anything to piss off God. He wasn’t a mutant. There had to be a reasonable explanation for this. He hurried home to his parents and found that he was getting very tired at this point. He couldn’t fall asleep though, he was terrified. He had no idea what was happening to him. He found out that by concentrating he could make everything go back to normal. His parents were shocked when their son ran in through the door far faster than should be possible. They jumped to the same conclusion he had. He was a mutant. They kicked him from their house, and threatened him that if he ever tried to return home, they would call the police. He wasn’t sure that being a mutant was illegal, but he didn’t want to try it. Thus, he spent the next year of his life trying to survive on the streets, all alone. He survived by using his mutant power to steal what he needed from people. Eventually he was found by the X-Men. At first he was wary of them, and not sure about joining them, thinking it was a trap. But, eventually he decided he could get away if it was a trap, and it had to be better than being homeless. So, he was taken to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youth. He tended to keep to himself for his first year there, spending a lot of time reflecting on his life. He hated that most of the world hated him without even knowing him. As time went on he began to began opening up to other students around the school. When the school was turned into a military encampment by the madness of a few of the older, more experienced X-Men, Steven avoided any of the weird things going on. He was terrified of being thrown out onto the streets again, so spent most of his time hiding from any of the battles, in the fear of fighting alongside the wrong side. After everything was sort of returned to normal, he began to return to hardly talking to anyone, unsure who he should and shouldn’t trust. Soon enough, another strange thing happened. Many adults were turned into children, and many of the children were turned into adults. Steven wasn’t affected, and he counted himself lucky for that. During this time, he also discovered he was very good with children, taking care of some of the adult turned children. This helped him open up to the people at this strange school, as he began to fall into his own, making jokes and talking with some of the others not affected. He spent the rest of the year, living comfortable and beginning to make some actual friends. DURING APOCALYPSE (April 7th through April 12th, 2009) When 2009 came, he began to notice strange things happening, and when the X-Men made an alliance with the Hellfire Club and the Brotherhood, Steven was disturbed. He hated the idea of teaming up with some of their worst enemies, but he decided that if there actually was something dangerous enough to force them to seek help from monsters like the Hellfire Club and the Brotherhood, he'd have to help anyway he could, even if his powers weren't exactly offensive. When Steven was confronted with the actual things he was forced to fight all of his determination to help faded away. He was terrified and spent most of the time outside of the battles, thinking he wouldn't do much good in a fight due to his lack of any offensive powers. He did his best to help out whenever he could, but he felt useless as he wasn't able to do anything to help. When disaster struck he headed out to New York, to help some of the injured and save civilians. At first he was terrified that he would be killed by a mind controlled version of his former friends, but when he saved people he noticed the look of admiration on their faces, the look of gratefulness to the person that saved their life, and he loved it. Saving people made him feel good, and he began to jump at any opportunity to save civilians. POST-APOCALYPSE When the battles were over, and things returned to normal, or at least as normal as it could be, when they had just fended off the literal end of the world, Steven tried to return to his old routine of training and being friendly with all of the others, but he couldn’t. He loved the feeling of saving those people. The way they looked at him made him feel like he was greater than just some 19 year old kid. It made him feel like a hero. So he donned a new costume, with far less Xes, and he left the school for almost a year, looking for people to save. This quickly became a habit, and he began to do this whenever he could. During this time he was confronted with the truth about how much people hated him simply because he was a mutant. He saved many a people, and some people were more terrified of him than whatever danger that they were faced before he saved them. He knew the world hated and feared him, but beyond his parents he’d mostly been shielded from the hatred that people felt for him. He could at least pretend that people who hated mutants were in the minority, but as he met more and more people who reacted to him in a hateful way, he became more and more angry at the bigots. Barely able to contain himself whenever someone he saved reacted by calling him a freak or screamed acting like he was the villain. When the dimensions began to merge, Steven wasn’t affected. During most of it, he was busy off doing his own heroics outside of the X-Men, but when the battle began, he returned to fight alongside his friends, although mostly staying on the outskirts of it. When the X-Men succeeded, he decided that it would be best for him to return to the school, not believing that he could continue as a solo hero any longer. PURIFIERS The rioting and the bigotry that came with this new mayor and the purifiers reminded him exactly how much the world hated him. He remembered his friends and family from his old life. They all hated him now, solely because of a single genetic mutation that he couldn’t control. It hurt him deeply, as he was a social person. He liked when people liked him, and he would do anything he could to keep people from hating him. Of course, the world reacted violently to those they didn’t understand. He would simply have to make do with the few people who didn’t hate him. When the violence started, it shocked him. It forced him to realize, that despite all the jokes he made, there were people who would do anything to kill him, and his friends. Realizing this made him angry, and he decided that he would do anything to protect his home and his friends. When the mansion was destroyed, Steven was in his room. He heard the boom first, and ran outside to check what happened. He was greeted with one of the most horrifying scenes he’d ever seen. His friends, people he cared about, were being killed. He ran further into the mansion to see if he could help. He found a young mutant who couldn’t have been older than 12 trapped under a piece of flaming rubble. Steven rushed into help him, lifting with all of his might, even using his super speed to help, but in the end he was too slow, and too weak. He had to watch as the young mutant burned to death, trapped under a piece of rubble. Steven left the mansion, still in shock. He didn’t even know the young mutant’s name. Steven blamed himself for the people who had died. If he had been a little bit faster, he could have saved some of the people who died there. The twisted forms of his parents he saw in that other dimension had been right. He didn’t fight in the following battles against the purifiers, believing he could only make things worse for his side. SKRULLS Steven was easily captured and replaced by the skrulls, as he had been spending much of his time since the destruction caused by the purifiers all alone, blaming himself for the deaths. He escaped along with everyone else, and joined the large battle between his former friends. At first he wanted to fight in the battle, but instead he found himself more useful when he was helping people. He was frustrated that he couldn’t be out there fighting for his friends, but didn’t complain too much. Especially considering it reminded him that he was a hero, no matter what. He wasn’t as deeply affected by the Skrulls as many others were. Most of the people who’d died he wasn’t close too, and it seemed that not much happened that directly affected him while he was abducted. CURRENT HISTORY When New York was attacked by giant sea creatures, Steven jumped at the chance to head out and help the city again, doing his best to save people from being hurt. He was happy to be able to save many people from being seriously hurt by the attacking monsters, or worse. Soon afterwards, he was able to return to the Xavier school, and it seemed like his life was returning to some semblance of normal, however that changed quickly. When Steven first heard about the assassination of Cyclops, he was shocked. Scott had almost always been the leader of the X-Men. Steven could always count on Cyclops’ constant dickery and leadership skills to help keep him in line. It was strange that Cyclops just mysteriously died, it was even more strange when he came back to life working as an evil ninja. Pretty soon, a lot more X-Men were being turned into evil ninja versions of themselves. Sadly, Steven never got a chance to point out how utterly ridiculous it was, because before he knew it these “Dark X-Men” were attacking the real X-Men after some plot to mutate children. Steven helped keep civilians from being injured in the battle. SAMPLE RP POST: Steven ran. It was something he did whenever he was faced with any of the more unpleasant parts of life. Him running just felt right. Even if he didn’t use his powers, he still loved running more than anything else in the world. It cleared his head, and no matter what else was going on, it made him feel calm and relaxed. He was currently running to clear his head. After everything that’s happened to him over the years, it was useful to get away from it all every once in a while. He paused to catch his breath, the mansion still looming in the distance. The mansion had become more his home than his parent’s old house had ever been to him. It felt strange thinking that it was so easily destroyed when the purifiers attacked. From where he was standing it looked impossible to destroy, but he knew that was wrong. Hell, a lot of their students could single handedly destroy it. It was a surprise that it lasted so long without being destroyed. When they had people like Magneto running around the mansion could have easily been destroyed. Of course the destruction of the mansion was still a shock. So many innocent lives were lost that day. If Steven had just been a little bit faster... He had been training the limits of his powers whenever he could since the mansion was rebuilt. He wouldn’t let more innocent people die because he was too slow. He felt useless in battles, his lack of offensive capabilities limited the amount of damage he could actually do to anyone, which made him feel useless in any big fights. He loved saving people, but he still wished he could be more helpful when his team members were fighting some big scary world threatening monster thing. He shook his head and kept running. Too many things to think about. He hated thinking about things. When he thought about things, he started questioning things, and when he started questioning things, everything stopped seeming as awesome as it had been. When he started thinking, he started doing things like questioning his self worth, questioning if what he was doing was actually changing things. He concluded that thinking about stuff was terrible, and that he would avoid doing it whenever he could. It wasn’t like he thought about things much anyways. With all the things going on in his life, he rarely got the chance to stop and take the time to think. He started running faster. He stopped when he smelled burning rubber. He let out a deep sigh and pulled his goggles off of his head. He yanked his shoes off of his feet. Great, another pair of running shoes destroyed. He should have just used worn his uniform, but of course he was only going to keep running at an average pace. Instead he had started thinking, and when he started thinking he tried to run. Running was his answer to everything that made him feel uncomfortable. Of course, that was almost everything, so he almost always ran. Of course, running wasn’t his only defense against things that made him feel uncomfortable. He could also make jokes whenever he wasn’t able to run. Jokes were a much easier way to deflect bad things. But, they were terrible for conversations, especially about serious things. He’d been joking and avoiding his feelings for so long, he wasn't sure if he was even able to have a normal conversation anymore. |
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| Cyclops | Dec 2 2013, 06:46 AM Post #2 |
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Punches from the Punch Dimension
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This is a good start, but every section is too short and rushed. Now that you have the skeleton down, you need to flesh it out. Really think about what Steven would feel and do when confronted by the armies of Apocalypse, or the explosion at the school. "Steven saved some kids during the explosion." is meh. But "Steven was trapped under the rubble with three of the elementary kids, and he used his super speed to tunnel their way out of the ruins of the school, saving the three kids by leading them to safety." is better. You see what I mean? You also need to rethink your power manifestation. Speed is fine when you're moving faster, but changing it so that you're slowing down everyone else becomes problematic. Does he slow down the whole world or if not, what is the range of the slowdown and how do people outside that range not react to what's happening. Also in your sample rp, I have no idea what's going on. Go back and rethink it. Don't worry, this might seem like a lot but this is in no way the worst app we ever had, you can definitely get this up to our standards. Ask in the cbox if you need help. PS: Can we get a smaller picture of your playby? |
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| Velocity | Dec 3 2013, 03:39 AM Post #3 |
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Alrighty, edited added some more detail, rewrote bits of the power section and rewrote the sample RP post. |
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| Havok | Dec 3 2013, 07:03 AM Post #4 |
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Superheated Plasma Blasts
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Getting better. We need your current history section up to date, so we need you to read the following threads and incorporate this into your history. Here's a couple threads detailing the major events Here, here, here, here, and here. You don't need to read everything in these threads but you need to skim it for major events. As for powers, I'm still not keen on his slowing down the whole world. What about other speedsters? How does no one know about this? How does it affect the world. It doesn't seem plausible. I get that you're trying to be unique with this power, but I think you might need to rethink it. |
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| Velocity | Dec 3 2013, 04:54 PM Post #5 |
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Alrighty. Added some more to current history. I'm trying to avoid retconning myself in too much, which is hard because, y'know, I need to. It's especially hard for current history because the Illuminati plot is still going on. I also reworked powers so that he makes himself move faster, instead of slowing down other things. Should make more sense, but then again, I wrote most of this at like, 3 am, so I could be missing something very obvious. |
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| Spitfire | Dec 5 2013, 07:59 PM Post #6 |
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Superspeed with Pyrotechnic Effects
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Hey Seth, I’m going to put a review in even though we normally take it in turns; real life has us all busy so hopefully this will speed the process along. The powers are looking a little better now you’re not trying to slow the whole world down. But, superspeed is a more complex power than just running fast. We have a lot of speedsters on the site, so look at Quicksilver, Speed, Spitfire, Aurora or Northstar or those who have speed as a side effect like Surge who is also capable in that field. Think about things like this: He’ll get tired after running, but how long? He can run up to the speed of sound, but what is his preferred comfortable speed? Making him run up to the speed of sound makes him one of the fastest people around. It also helps to put it in a rounded mph figure. If he can’t do what all other speedsters can, why not, especially if he’s faster than some. What about his metabolism? His reflexes, physical adaptations to speed etc. Like I said, speed is more complicated than it first appears, but if you want to make him unable to access skills, you can always drop his speed or something, but right now it doesn’t make much sense. I play a speedster, so trust me on that. Personality: It’s a little brief, but if he’s such an irresponsible, party animal slacker, what is he doing in the Legacy Squad. He can be a slacker and party, but you’re going to need to balance this out with some traits that mean he deserves to wear an X on his belt. History: A lot of this is still really confusing and rushed. What exactly did he help with in Apocalypse? Being a little more specific in some sections would improve this app a lot. Why leave the school, only come back to fight in the big end battle of WWX? Why would they let him fight? Not saying you can’t retcon Steven into battles, but you need to think about it logically. You seem most confused about Skrulls. No one barring one person escaped from the Skrulls, prior to them being all rescued from the prison by the Hellfire Club. Even if he somehow managed to escape, how did he get back to Earth? How long was he there? It was a very long, complicated plot, so go back and read to make sure you've grasped it or ask for help. The current history section is again, a little rushed. That makes it feel a little confused. Also, there wasn’t really anything convoluted about what the Dark X-men were doing - they’d tried to mutate a lot of people, especially children, which is quite simple really. This app is still quite rough around the edges and it might seem really nitpicky, but as we’re a mostly high level site, we need to see you understand and can keep up by making sure this app is as well rounded as possible. Please, take your time. Read other apps, especially speedster apps. If you need help, please ask a staff member, else post a response when you’re done smoothing over things. |
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| Velocity | Dec 7 2013, 10:19 PM Post #7 |
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Alrighty. Edited all sorts of things. Changed bits of the history for clarity, rewrote the powers, and added on to the personality. |
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| Havok | Dec 8 2013, 02:12 AM Post #8 |
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Superheated Plasma Blasts
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I'm ok with this now. [S T A M P] |
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| Betsy Braddock | Dec 8 2013, 11:46 PM Post #9 |
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
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This is still kind of shaky to be honest, so I want to see you give your very best in game. Don't worry about having to fully insert yourself into plots (like WWX) and just concentrate on making things work for you. However, the powers are still quite sparse, but its the limits that seem a little shaky. 500 mph is a decent mid range speed, but you add he can push up to 750mph. This is quite a big jump, so how does he manage that? How long can he maintain that big burst of speed? How long can he maintain his overall speed? You still need to think about that sort of thing. I know its nitpicky, but you need to show a little more understanding as like I said, its sparse on detail. That doesn't mean the same thing as length. It'll help you understand and apply your powers better in game than just 'running around'. Contact me if you need help, or respond when you've just gone over the powers and that'll hopefully be the last edit. |
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| Velocity | Dec 9 2013, 12:49 AM Post #10 |
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Alrighty. I added some time limits to the powers and stuff. |
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| Logan | Dec 10 2013, 07:54 PM Post #11 |
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Betsy asked me to take over for her. This is neither the worst app or the best app I have seen. I feel like you did the minimum in several areas, especially the sample post. You still didn't explain how he can jump up to 750 from 500, as Betsy asked in her last response. If 500 is his normal, a 250 mph (which is approaching Quicksilver speeds) jump up is one hell of a jump. Expand his powers and give it more detail. Two short paragraphs isn't going to get it for me, for a speedster that is faster than several of our current speedsters. If you are blank on how, then go read their apps and figure it out. Also expand his weaknesses. I'm sure he has more than just getting distracted or frustrated. Again, all of this is very short and the bare minimum, which I don't think cuts it for a speedster that is faster than some of our current ones. Unlike some, I'm not going to list out ways for you to expand it because I think you are smart enough to do it yourself. Go read other apps for ideas and work on these details. History isn't bad, except that "During Apocalypse" and "Skrulls" is very short. Expand those sections. Also I'd like to see you expand your sample post as well. Again, it is the bare minimum and if it is meant to impress, it doesn't. I'm beginning to wonder if that is what you are striving for, the bare minimum. The application for your character is meant to impress, it is meant to be a reference for people to go back to and learn more about your character, and more importantly it is a reference that you can fall back on so that you can use it to play your character. Which might not sound like much, but if I lifted a 200 ton object with Exodus and people are like, "you can't do that!" I can refer them back to my app where I specifically list that sort of thing. Also for a speedster that wants to get up close to Quicksilver speeds and surpass Surge and Spitfire, I expect an amount of detail that is equal or greater than their applications. Do it and reply here when you are done. |
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| Velocity | Dec 12 2013, 02:37 AM Post #12 |
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Alright. I edited some stuff, added more to the places you talked about and went more in depth with the powers. Hopefully this should be better. |
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| Logan | Dec 13 2013, 05:13 PM Post #13 |
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Welcome to XMR. Post in the list updater. [stamp] |
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7:32 PM Jul 11