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Lana Stevenson
Topic Started: Jan 11 2014, 08:07 PM (680 Views)
Lana Stevenson
Unregistered

[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align]

NAME: Spiegel.
CONTACT: PM.
HOW YOU FOUND US: RPG-D.
OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE None.
RULES CODE: Blackbird.

CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_comic_book_superpowers#Illusion

[align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align]

[align=center]http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2300500480/nm2177528?ref_=nmmi_mi_all_pbl_2[/align]

[align=center]Lana Stevenson[/align]

BASIC INFORMATION

CANON OR ORIGINAL: Original.
AFFILIATION: Brotherhood.

FULL NAME: Lana Stevenson.
CODENAME: Gone-Green.
NICKNAMES: N/A.

CURRENT AGE: Twenty five.
DATE OF BIRTH: 7-18-1988.
MARITAL STATUS:Divorced.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual.
BASE OF OPERATIONS: Sanctuary.
TIME AT INSTITUTE:N/A.
REGISTERED WITH SHIELD? No.
HOMETOWN: Shelby, Ohio.
KNOWN RELATIVES: Adam and Susan Stevenson still live in Shelby, Ohio. Her brother, Quincy, is overseas. He is a Sergeant in the U.S. military.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: Five foot zero.
BUILD: Thin.
EYES: Dark brown. The term "Doe eyes" applies to Lana.
HAIR: Dark brown, almost black.
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: None.
CLOTHING STYLE: T-shirts and jeans. Sometimes she'll throw on something more feminine when she thinks it will be a quiet day.
UNIFORM: Her uniform is lightweight and specially made to be durable. It closesly resembles a one-piece jumpsuit that was dyed black. She only ever wears it when going out on an assignment.

POWERS

GENERAL DESCRIPTION: She controls the earth and what it consists of. Such as dirt, sand, stone, and if she happens to be near a volcano, lava. She uses them as shields and weapons when in a battle. Her ability to control the earth is limited by the elements she uses. If she is using heavy stone the entire time, she will be tapped out within thirty minutes. Relatively lightweight things such as dirt and sand however, don't tire her out quite as fast, keeping her going for up to an hour.


Stone: She uses it as both a shield and a weapon when she is in a battle. She can also use it as a prison on her enemies, which she then collapses inward on them.

Sand: She largely uses it as a battering ram when she is in combat, she also uses it to try and blind her opponent.

She uses dirt as a shield, compressing it into a solid shape, blocking the part of her body that was the target.

Lava: It's rare that she gets to control such a destructive element as lava, considering the relative scarceness of it, though she is certainly capable of it. Her control of lava, though thirty minutes long, taxes her even more than her ability to control stone. She needs a full twenty four hours to recover from such a heavy battle where she was forced to use it.

Quick reflexes: While not in the range of superhuman abilities she has learned to trust her instincts, using her powers in the split second before she is grievously injured.


WEAKNESS: Despite being a mutant, she has the physical durability of your average human, which considering her size, makes her frail.

PERSONALITY She is quick with a joke; hiding her pointed comments and observations about people behind a smile. Lana has a caustic personality that she uses as a shield to keep people at a distance. She is surprisingly honest, however, voicing her thoughts if she is asked her opinion on things.

HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE Lana was happily married before the apocalypse began. She lived in New York at the time with her husband and five year old son. Though finding it difficult to make ends meet in New York, she has been doing her best for the past seven years. She kept quiet about her powers, though her husband knew she was a mutant, accepting her for what she was. Lana kept an eye on her son, watching for signs that he inherited her powers.

She was not on good terms with her own family however. Neither her brother or her parents accepted that she was a mutant, hiding the fact that she was different was a decision made by her parents. They convinced Lana to go along with their decision by manipulating her with stories of what happened to mutants who were discovered by ordinary people. Later in her life as she grew up, she rebelled against her parents and her brother, who by that time had been convinced in siding with his parents. She ran away from home the moment she was eighteen, taking nothing but a spare change of clothes.

She met her husband, Daniel, when she was applying for a job in New York. It was not love at first sight, though she did give him her numbers after he charmed her out of them. Her first date with him convinced her to keep him. It was on her fourth date, after quite a few drinks, that she confessed to her abilities that made her a mutant. He did not believe her until she showed what she could do. He was silent for a long moment as he considered it, Lana tandoing there with unease as she watched him, before he hugged her and started talking about if they should set up the next date. She knew then and there that she was going to marry him.

DURING APOCALYPSE: During the Apocalypse, when the shit hit the fan in New York, she went out and fought to protect her city. Her husband disagreed with her choice to put herself at risk like that, arguing with her as she prepared to leave for Coney Island. Things got tense in her house when she slammed the front door in his face after calling him a horse's ass for not wanting to do what was right. She had already seen what was going on in the rest of the world, the fights that others like her were in to save earth. She considered it no less than what was her duty to help in saving New York. When she reached Coney Island, she looked for somebody she thought who knew what was going on. Her eyes fell on a member of the Brotherhood, though she was unaware of who they were. She walked up to him and asked about what she could do to help after showing her powers, revealing that she was a mutant. While fighting along with her Brotherhood alies, she was subtly convinced to keep an open mind and side with the Brotherhood when she finally made up her mind to join a side.

POST-APOCALYPSE: After the Apocalypse, things were tense in her house, the argument still unresolved between her husband and Lana. Her marriage was going downhill as they tried to discuss what happened during the battles, her husband criticizing her choice in siding with the Brotherhood. She eventually left the house, packing up a bag and moving into a motel, after a vicious argument broke out. Daniel's words stung when he called her a freak, it was the final straw. She filed for divorce at the court, hiding the real reasons behind leaving her husband, writing down that they split because of a difference of opinions.

PURIFIERS The gap between Lana and her husband was uncrossable when she found out he had sided with the Purifiers. She was disgusted with his choice, questioning if she had ever known him. He supported the Purifiers even when they committed horrendous acts of terrorism against her own kind. It finally convinced her to fully side with the Brotherhood, leading her to search for an opportunity to talk to one when she got in contact with the one she worked with during the Apocalypse. After the Purifier's organization was torn apart, she lost contact with her husband and son. Lana does not know if they are alive or dead.

SKRULLS She fought under the leadership of the Brotherhood during the Skrull invasion, though she was most often relegated to the back while the Brotherhood assessed the extent of her power. Lana spent many long hours training her powers, a marked improvement showing as she came to terms with her abilities in controlling the earth beneath her feet. It was proven that she was hesitant about using the full force of her powers, her long years of holding her power at bay becoming an instinct for her. She was assigned to a lesser position because of that hesitation in her.

CURRENT HISTORY All was quiet in the Brotherhood at the moment. Lana devoted her time to trying to find her former husband and missing sun, not knowing what she would do when she found them. Her indecision on what to do was a moot point however, as Lana found not a trace of the two. She dropped the search for a few months as she debated what to do, torn by indecision, until she finally asked one of her friends, hoping he would help search for the two.


SAMPLE RP POST: Lana was shocked when she first discovered her powers at the age of seven. The chaos she caused as she sent the sand in her sandbox drew her parents to the back door, their face pale at the realization that their only daughter was a mutant freak. They quickly ordered her to her room, locking the door after she was two steps inside it, While Lana was on her bed, crying from the shock of what happened, as well as her parent's reaction to the discovery her parents were hissing at each other as they argued about it.

They let Lana out of her room after half an hour, ignoring what happened for now, cleaning up the mess as best they could. Adam and Susan waited a few days before they discussed with her what happens to mutants who show their powers in public, manipulating her into hiding her powers as best she could.

As the years rolled by however, she paid attention to the news, recognizing certain reports as destruction caused by mutants. She began questioning her parents, ultimately leading to her running away from home. She has not had contact with her family since then.

Her parents were relieved when Lana had disappeared from their house one night. They were not concerned whether she was in danger or not. Her brother agreed with his parents, cutting off all ties with his freak of a sister the moment he signed up to join the US military. He had not truly talked to her for years, a look of disdain on his face whenever he glanced at her.

After leaving her house, she hitched rides to New York, working her way to New York city. Once there she found various jobs to pay for her expenses, meager though they were.
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Thanks for applying to XMR!

I try to be honest in application reviews, but do not take anything personally as we are not here to be mean or slam you, and understand if you need help or something explaining in more detail, please get in touch with me or another staff member and we will see what we can do.

Basically, this application just needs a LOT more detail.

Powers: Not a bad start but you need to think in numerical figures too. How big/strong are the shields she makes. How long can she create them for. What exactly does she do with stone to manipulate it?

These powers are vast and as such, they need refining and explaining a little more thoroughly.

Why the quick reflexes?

Weaknesses: You need to expand a little. How long can she use her powers for, does she have some sort of earth material that she can't manipulate? Again, think a little broader.

Personality: She either hides her comments or she's honest. You really need to expand beyond this just now, as it's far too brief. What about her feelings on being a mutant, has she any talents or interests, her feelings about killing and the Brotherhood?

History: You start when she's an adult, full formed. We generally like people to start from the beginning and while we don't need to read a detailed account of what they did on the first day of school, their first Christmas present etc, we do expect to see at least a paragraph or two of early history to show how the character came to be.

I don't understand her motivation for going to Coney Island during the main Apocalypse event. The Brotherhood wouldn't have even been there, there was no fight there aside from a short strike by the Hellfire Club before Apoc. that was with the purpose of making the Brotherhood listen. This section needs to make a little more sense.

Purifiers: When did she suddenly have a kid? This section - and the previous section - needs to be tightened up and refer to plot events a little more. What exactly was it about the Purifiers that made her want to side with the Brotherhood (who are terrorists themselves and have committed murder and destruction on a massive scale). I need to see motive beyond needing to get her from A to B.

Skrulls: If she was hesitating, the Brotherhood wouldn't shove her in a low role her, they'd smack the shit out of her and some higher ups would potentially kill her. I'm not sure if you understand this sitewide either and I appreciate the fact the Brotherhood can be daunting to retcon yourself into, but how about considering her opinion when Magneto went missing, or when two very top tier members of the Brotherhood went missing not long after the Purifiers plot?

Current: We haven't added the current plot to the history yet, while the Brotherhood were mostly quiet during this, Exodus played a key role in the Illuminati and there was a final fight in Sanctuary too.

Illuminati summary: http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...showtopic=13913

BH relevant thread: http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...showtopic=14404

Edit: What about her son? Why did she just leave him in the first place? Is she going to find him again, or is this something that will never come to light on board. Why isn't he listed as a known relative of hers?

Your sample is a little strange. It reads more like a history recap than an in character post. We need to see how Lana acts and even interacts and should be third person following her and not her parents shock and cutting her off. It unfortunately makes little sense.


The spelling/grammar is a little patchy as well in several areas of this app, so be careful when it comes to proofreading and spellchecking your work. This is not the worst app we have ever seen, but it needs a lot more care and attention to bring it up to scratch. Like I said before, we will help, but the work has to come from you and you have to understand this site, the plots and the politics of those plots.

Please post a response when you are finished editing. Thanks.
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Is this being worked on? Progress has to be made by January 30th or this will be moved to denied through inactivity.
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Betsy Braddock
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Moved to denied. Ask a staff member to move it back to apps if you want to try again.
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