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Like a Can of Sardines...; XFI - Case 43-14 Continued
Topic Started: Jun 9 2014, 03:21 AM (214 Views)
Songbird
Unregistered

May 1st
Cheyenne Reservation in Boulder Valley, Colorado
10 AM


“All I'm saying is... why didn't Jamie specify that we needed like a big van or something?” Songbird said, looking over at Guido in the passenger seat. They were currently driving along in a 2013 Toyota Yaris that made it feel like sardines in a can. When they had arrived at the car rental place at the airport, somehow all the vans and larger vehicles had been taken. So instead of getting just one or two large vehicles, they were forced to rent several small sedans. And since Kyle and Guido did not seem to be able to fit comfortably in the same row together, Guido was crammed into the passenger seat and Kyle was directly behind her, forcing her to move the seat so far up that she felt like she was eating the steering wheel. Beside Kyle was Craig, a cameraman, who was no small man himself and he was somehow keeping a camera on his shoulder.

“This is [bleeeeeep]ing ridiculous,” Songbird said, swerving slightly in order to avoid some kind of roadkill that was splattered across the road. In front of her, thankfully, was a few more of the camera crew that had a GPS and were supposed to know where they were going. Behind her, in yet another small sedan, was everyone else. But the producer just thought it would be hilarious to cram her in a small vehicle with Guido and Kyle, the two larger men of the group.

“Not to mention I haven't driven in like seven years!” Melissa said, looking up to the rearview mirror. All she could see was Guido's shoulders. How was he going to get out? She turned her head, attempting to look straight back at Kyle. “I was living in California last time I had to drive, you know?”

VUB VUB VUB – SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAUK!

Melissa looked quickly back to the front as her tires veered off the road and she yanked the steering wheel, causing the tires to squeal as she pulled them back onto the road. The small car felt like it could very easily turn sideways, but somehow Melissa maintained control and got them back onto the road.

“Jesus!” Melissa said. “Who paves these roads, they aren't straight. Why would you make a road with a [beeeep] load of turns and curves when you could just make it them straight?”

Shaking her head, she looked down to her cellphone and worked on sending a text to Wicked, who was in the car behind them.

Did u see that shhit lol almost went off the road

As Kyle and Guido and the poor cameraman were finding out, there was a reason that most people did not let Melissa drive.

It was not long after Melissa's loss of control that they passed several signs informing them that they were entering an Indian Reservation. She didn't know exactly what she expected... maybe some teepees or people wearing feathered headdresses and such, but they pulled up into a small country town that wasn't far off from any other that she had been to. The main street of the town had quite a few two story buildings, some of which were out of business and boarded up, but others were still functioning as restaurants and general stores.

The cars finally pulled to the curb and came to a stop in front of a building that had a sign saying, “Bureau of Indian Affairs Police,” which Melissa had learned was the police force that policed Indian reservations all over the place. It was as good a started point as any to find out any information on their missing boy, along with his friends Thomas and Matthew. If they were cooperative.

“Alright guys,” Melissa said, opening the door and squeezing out of the small space. Stretching her legs, she couldn't imagine what the ride had been like for Kyle and Guido. “I'm going to go in here and see if they will talk to me,” she explained, pausing to look at a car that was slowing down as it passed. The occupants of the vehicle were staring suspiciously at their strange looking convoy, but it didn't stop. “If not, we'll just have to go to those coordinates we got from the pictures.”
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Strong Guy
Unregistered

Guido could full well remember the skepticism that seized his heart when he heard that Mel had another mission for him. Considering the way the last few had gone, such as the debacle at Heffler’s mansion and the homo rodeo at the Cockpit…he wasn’t ever quite sure what they were getting signed up for. But this time was different-she assured him. This time Jamie hadn’t selected them for some cockamamie adventure for his sick and twisted amusement.

This was a case she was taking of her own volition.

So he’d agreed to come along, though admittedly he had sat there for a while as he tried to brush the tangles out of Princess Buttercup’s fur and tried to think of a good excuse to not go. In the end Mel was cuter than the dog, and if she said please one more time he might just have a Hallmark moment…so he’d packed a few things and headed off on another adventure.

Road trip.

Guido didn’t travel well. Never had. Long trips tended to get his tummy flopping, and crammed in a sardine can of a car, and Mel’s drunken swerving all over the road while chatting it up incessantly didn’t help matters either. In the mirror he could see the little man with the camera getting real nervous as he turned a slight shade of green and kept burping, but he was the one who wanted to come along now wasn’t he?

He’d tuned her out a few miles back. Her voice was something like the teacher from Charlie Brown to him now as he focused all of his might and strength into not hurling on the dash of this ridiculous little car. But he looked up in time to see that she was steering with her knees and sending a text with a giggle to someone and he grabbed the wheel and steered them back into their lane as a semi roared past blaring its horns. “Fer crap’s sake Mel! I’m gonna crush that phone if you don’t put it away.”

And then things settled down a bit, and he even managed to doze off a little, only waking up when he heard the distinct crunching sound of gravel under their tires. “What a crap hole,” he muttered under his breath as they pulled in. Then he remembered his history and remembered that he should feel guilty for what happened here. Then he remembered that he wasn’t the one who janked the Indians and so he stopped that feeling where it started and just felt conflicted…which still sucked.

The car stopped and Mel got out. Guido gently opened the door and then sent the command to his legs to move so he could get out of the car. Unfortunately he had been cramped in one position for so long that it wasn’t happening. The camera man zeroed in on him as he tried to pull himself out, putting a nice dent in the top of the car as he pushed and pulled. Finally he looked at Kyle with no small amount of embarrassment.

“Little help, pal?”
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Songbird
Unregistered

“So you haven't heard anything new on him, hm?” Songbird asked the police officer at the front desk. The police station was really small and it reminded her of Andy Griffith's workplace. Minus the cells. Though she wouldn't doubt that they had a few in the back rooms.

“No, like I said, his family reported him missing a few weeks ago. We have checked all around, but it's possible that he skipped down,” the police officer of indian descent said. “Really, you look like you have more information that we do. So let us know if you find anything else... but don't be surprised if his family isn't exactly welcoming to outsiders.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Melissa said, turning to walk back towards the door. “Thanks for all the help.”

Even though that wasn't much. Melissa walked back outside and dropped both hands down to her sides as she saw what was going on. Guido was still struggling to get out of the vehicle and the cameraman was just standing there filming it all. Quickly walking around the car, the smacked the cameraman in the arm.

“Dude, you aren't even trying to help him!” she said, reaching in and grabbing one of Guido's legs with both of her arms. Melissa then shoved his knee into his chest, probably farther than he usually could stretch it, before leaning back and yanking one of his legs out. Hopefully that was enough to get him the rest of the way out, but she proceeded to grab his elbow and yank on him to assist him in removing himself from the car. Of course, this drew looks from anyone else that may have been nearby, and the cameraman was giggling like a fool as it took place.

“I just spoke to the cops in there,” Melissa said once Guido was on his feet and out of the vehicle. “While you were supposed to be getting out of the car and coming in there with me. They really didn't have anything more than we have. Something tells me that they haven't done much besides earn their badges... not many detective types in there.”

Melissa walked around to the other side of the vehicle and she placed her elbows on top of the car, leaning onto it as she looked across the roof towards Guido. The car was small enough that she could do that. Raising a finger to him in thought, pulled out her cell phone and began cycling through some things.

“Google maps puts him not far from here, though. Basing his coordinates off of some pictures I found on his instagram,” Mel said, looking between her phone and Guido. “So maybe if we head to those places, someone might know him enough to know which way he was heading next. What do you think?”

She slapped the top of the car.

“Let's hop back in and head that way, I got it on my GPS,” Mel said, hopping back into the car quite easily. She then looked across to the passenger side, out the door that was still open. “M... maybe you should have just stayed in here.”

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Strong Guy
Unregistered

As far as dismounts went, this was fairly embarrassing. Guido was starting to feel the blood flowing back into his lower extremities, but he was wedged in there so tightly that unless he wanted to take out the dashboard, rip out the seat or dislodge the door from its hinges he was fairly well stuck. The problem wasn't nearly as much not being able to get out of the vehicle as it was trying to adhere to a halfhearted promise he'd made to Jamie before he left of not destroying another rental car.

Either way the cameraman's laughter was going to earn him an atomic wedgie. Guido looked forward to training the camera on him while he tried to figure out how his boxers had suddenly become a thong.

And as it so happened he took so long trying to get out that Mel already conducted some of the business without him and then she was back at his side trying her hardest to help him out.

"Any other time and this might be kinda sexy," he said as she planted a foot on him and strained and pulled and moaned and groaned. The cameraman chortled out loud at that comment, his camera shaking with barely restrained mirth as Guido spun slowly and slid out head first to the dusty ground.

From a distance it looked as revolting as the miracle of birth.

But Guido stood up and dusted himself off and was just about ready to ask her where they needed to go when she made the proclamation that they should get back in. This was where he just looked at her, his left eyelid twitching uncontrollably. The sound of jocularity behind him was the last straw.

Guido reached into the car and grabbed the seat, pulling and wrenching it until it popped free with a load crack. He turned to the cameraman and grinned wickedly as he ripped the seat in two and tossed the pieces aside as if they were made out of paper mache.

"Just need a little leg room," he explained to Mel. Then he got in the back seat.

"Where am I going to sit," the cameraman asked out of curiosity.

"I got a couple of ideas," Guido said as he shut the door and stretched his legs out. "You prob'ly won't like any of 'em." This was better...but not perfect. His head was still bent over as it touched the roof of the car, and his shoulders still felt fairly cramped as well. Without asking permission he decided a few more alterations to the car were in order.

The natives watched from a distance in awe as he crumbled the roof of the car into a ball and tossed it at the cameraman's feet.
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