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...a pair of brown shoes.; Billy; open to wedding party
Topic Started: Jul 21 2014, 02:32 PM (414 Views)
Ted Kaplan-Altman
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Mutant Skrull Physiology
Sunday, July 20th
Zappo's Tuxedo Shop


(OOC: Open to anyone in the wedding party, either because you're getting fitted for a tux or just hanging out. Potentially open to others as well but ask me first. )

"Now hold your arms straight out, please?"

Ted complied, biting down a crack about the fitting attendant needing a step-ladder to reach his shoulders. The instructor for a recent SHIELD advanced training seminar on deep-cover role-playing had called out Ted's habitual self-consciousness about his size as a problem, as it called observers' attention to it which made it more difficult to conceal, so he'd been working on curtailing the urge to apologize for it.

Of course, in some sense it wasn't really an issue in the field, since he could shapeshift to adopt any size he chose... he could be a ninety-five pound weakling, if the role required it. But the whole reason he'd enrolled in the seminar in the first place was that impersonating a target, or even just adopting a different persona, was as much a mental exercise as a physical one... more so, really. Watching Mystique in action had made that clear to him, even if it hadn't already been made clear by his own difficulties mastering that aspect of his mutant/Skrull abilities. So the same acting and mimicry skills that human agents used as part of their tradecraft were actually of great use to him.

Still, while he was getting markedly better at mimicking individuals, mimicking clothes was still hugely challenging. He'd learned to grow a fairly convincing skin-tight outfit, could even make socks work if he paid enough attention, but looser clothes were still unconvincing and a tuxedo was out of the question, running jokes about his walking down the aisle naked notwithstanding. Hence, the fitting.

"So what do you think, hon?" he asked jokingly over his shoulder to Billy, who was undergoing similar process. "Do we go boring and traditional with the basic black, or opt for something a little more colorful? I mean, just because I'm not going green is no reason we can't."


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Wonderman
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Invulnerability, Flight, Ionic Powers, Loving Every Minute of it
"If you do green, you'll clash with your mother," Simon warned Billy, "And, she's still having Empty Nest issues, so it would probably be good not to give her more to fret about."

He looked at the two young men getting fitted, and he felt... well, he felt like maybe he shouldn't be here. It wasn't that he didn't like Teddy. If he was going to have a gay half skrull, shapeshifting mini hulk for a husband to his time displaced sorcerer's apprentice son, well, he couldn't have picked a better one himself, but this was all waaaaaay above Simon's paygrade. Not that he was prejudiced or homophobic, but, frankly, it was all just one more piece of the exceedingly surreal path his life had taken since he joined SHIELD. How much more was he expected to just accept? Was this the weirdest it was going to get? Was there more coming down the pike?

Simon didn't know how to be a father. Hell, technically Billy wasn't even conceived yet. Had he been cheated of that chance to see his sons born, to hold them as babies, to teach them to talk and walk, to throw a ball and ride a bike? Would he even have done any of those things? Was that the kind of father he would have been? Or would he have been like his own father. Absentee and distant. More focused on his work than his family?

The poor tailor was fretting over Teddy's substantial size and Simon pitied the man. He'd already fit Simon's and he was no dainty rosebud himself. Big men needing big clothes.

Glancing over at Billy, Simon said, "So... Um... what do we talk about here? I mean, if we were women, we'd be gossiping and gushing over shiny bits of lace, and antique veils or something. As men... I feel like we should be planning bachelor party, but since you're both grooms, I guess that would be redundant?"
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Kate Bishop
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Quite the Shot
Despite having a female frame that she wanted a male suit tailored to, Kate turned out to be one of the easiest people for the fitters to cater to. Next to mutated beefcakes like Wonderman and Hulkling, her curves were really nothing to write home about.

“I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb...” She sang to herself, wires indicating where she had ear buds in and head bobbing about in an unconscious Mick Jagger tribute. One of the many perks of working with Jubilation Lee had been how the other young woman worked wonders on Kate's MP3 collection. She was currently hooked on a 'best of the Runaways' mix, to the point where she was thinking of suggesting a tribute band play at Billy and Ted's wedding, just on the off-chance they said yes.

She was carrying a couple of cardboard trays laden with drinks back to the shop after ducking out for coffee and snacks – the deli joint she'd been to had done a mixture of smoothies, teas and good old fashions java for the caffeine hounds like her.

“I mean, just because I'm not going green is no reason we can't.” She heard Ted say as she pulled out the earphones and carefully pushed the door open with her backside.

“If you do green, you'll clash with your mother. And, she's still having Empty Nest issues, so it would probably be good not to give her more to fret about.”

Kate grinned to herself, biting down the urge to yell something about purple. The young officer already got enough stick about her weird colour hang-ups. Did purple go with red? Screw it. The reason she stuck to white, indigo, black and blue was so she didn't have to make any calls on a potential fashion faux pas.

“So... Um... what do we talk about here? I mean, if we were women, we'd be gossiping and gushing over shiny bits of lace, and antique veils or something. As men... I feel like we should be planning bachelor party, but since you're both grooms, I guess that would be redundant?”

“Parties are never redundant when they're done right.” Kate announced as she made it through to the fitting rooms, holding the drinks trays aloft as a sign of a successful trip (and as a cheeky reminder that their little mono-gendered moment was over). “I've already offered to book a paint-balling and spa day combo. Billy made an ooh noise at that, though I'm not sure which part...” She tipped a wink at Wiccan as she sat the trays down on an abandoned footstool. Kate's idea of a good time very definitely leaned more towards running around in protective gear and overalls than milling about in a big fluffy bathrobe. That maybe said something about why she had ended up as a SHIELD agent's 'best woman'.

“And I found a stripper who does a Namor-themed act, but that might be one scaly banana-hammock too far for poor Teddy after dealing with the real thing.”

She pulled free her own drink, a no-frills sweet black iced coffee, and took a long slurp through the straw. “Please don't make me go shopping for antique anything though! Remember Christmas? You know I suck at any retail shenanigans that don't involve chasing shoplifters.”
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Wiccan
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Reality Warping/ Nice Pashmina
So far so good, Billy thought to himself as the tailor adjusted the jacket he was trying on. So good in the fact that the closer that it came to the wedding the less likely that there was going to be some world altering event that would cause plans to be changed, delayed or even broken. On top of that, Billy was having a great time being able to try out this style suit, and that style suit, whether to go for a traditional tie, or another piece of neck ware, did they go for a waist coat or not? It really was a lot to decide and thankfully Billy liked trying on the different clothes, and combinations that they could potentially have for their big day - and at least Billy was capable of standing still for five minutes, when in comparison to Tommy who was acting as Billy's best man as it were, could hardly stand still for a second so his fitting was going to be less than fun he thought to himself.

"Colour? Hmm" Billy pondered to himself for a moment, thankfully they weren't just making their decisions on their own today and Simon was there to help them too while he got his own suit sorted too. "What about a colour that'd not clash with mom? For ties and handkerchiefs? Something like a baby blue maybe?" Billy wasn't exactly an artist, so he couldn't ream off of the list of colours that'd go with his mom's colour choice, but that was why they were here, they could get the help they needed and get everything sorted over a number of fittings.

"We can gush over pieces of antique lace and veils if you want dad, but I think that might just be the last straw for Tommy." He grinned a little. "I don't really know what we're meant to talk about either, I've not really been involved in the back stage stuff for a wedding before."

The talk of parties, seemed to be summon Kate out of nowhere as she returned with caffeine and baked goodies, two of the most important food groups in the universe. Which was when the talk of the bachelor parties started - this time last year they would never have been able to hold a bachelor party, it was just the wrong type of atmosphere to be partying, but now things were different and they could enjoy themselves without fear that because they were having fun the world was going to stop turning on its axis.

"Both parts." Billy nodded as he stood in front of the mirror as the assistant fiddled with the jacket that he had put on. "I've not been paintballing before, and I refuse to believe that I will be the worst because I'm one of the few in our party that hasn't had SHIELD, or police academy training."
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Ted Kaplan-Altman
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Mutant Skrull Physiology
That green would clash with the Scarlet Witch's eponymous wardrobe hadn't occurred to Ted, but he hadn't really been serious in the first place, so he just gave a one-shouldered indifferent shrug that annoyed his tailor. "Fair enough... I suppose we'd have to postpone the wedding a couple of months for the red-and-green color scheme to be appropriate, and that's not going to happen. We've already told the Brotherhood, if they pull anything that week we're going to tell their moms."

Simon seemed uncomfortable, but Ted got the impression that this was more of a permanent state, rather than anything related to the particular moment. He couldn't blame the guy, really... he'd gone from being just an ordinary guy to being a superhero, a Defender, and inductee into the House of M and the partner of one of the most powerful mutants in the world. Ted could relate... he'd gone through a similar transition himself, not that many years ago, an in some ways he and Simon had more in common than either of them had with anyone else. Though he doubted the older man would see it that way.

"if we were women, we'd be gossiping and gushing over shiny bits of lace, and antique veils or something. As men... I feel like we should be planning bachelor party, but since you're both grooms, I guess that would be redundant?"

Ted wasn't really sure how to respond to that. He kind of wanted to reply that they were still bachelors, and they could talk about whatever they wanted and have whatever parties they wanted, and being guys had nothing to do with any of that. But admittedly Simon was right in a sense: there really were cultural roles defined for men and women, and there were consequences to failing to conform to those roles... part of the training he'd been going through on how to adopt different personas involved learning about how to play women, so he was especially aware of it at the moment. But he wasn't undercover now, and he didn't really care very much whether anyone looked at him cross-eyed for not performing masculinity in a conventional way... on the other hand, he didn't want to ruin the day by getting on a soapbox about gender essentialism either. Certainly not with Simon, who in addition to being his kinda-sorta-father-in-law-to-be, was also kinda-sorta his superior officer.

Fortunately, Kate stepped in both literally and figuratively. "Parties are never redundant when they're done right." He chuckled at that. "True enough. And don't worry, Bills, we can schedule some paintball practice along with dance classes."

“And I found a stripper who does a Namor-themed act, but that might be one scaly banana-hammock too far for poor Teddy after dealing with the real thing.”

"Under no conceivable circumstances," he replied feelingly. "I mean, I'm fine with the strippers, but if I never hear that Atlantean's name again it will be far too soon. Especially not in the same sentence with antique lace," he added, "that's not an image any of us need."
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Wonderman
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Simon was unaware that he had possibly insulted his soon to be Son-in-Law, but if he had known, he would have been quick to apologize. It wasn't that he was homophobic, or even xenophobic, but it was that he really didn't know the meaning of those words, those concepts. He was a smart man, but not with stuff like this. His would have been a life full of business and monetary strategy, and that was what he understood. Not... weddings, and being a father, and having a role of responsibility suddenly in the lives of young men who had grown up out of time, and who he would someday in the future father. Even the idea of a female 'best man' was out of his scope of familiarity.

"Paint balling?" Simon shook his head, "Count me out on that one, kids. I spend my days and nights getting shot at by enemies, I am not all that keen on getting shot at by friends." He took the offered coffee drink, the one with the most sugar, chocolate, and whipped cream in it, what his father had always derogatorily called a "dessert coffee." Sipping the sickly sweetness, he smiled and said, "Besides, we have a marksman, a reality warper, a speedster and someone who can shapeshift here in this room, not to mention my ionic form. Personally, I think that a paint ball match has the potential to start World War III."

The mention of a Namor themed stripper was then brought up and he nearly choked on his drink, "Oh, for the love of all that's good and wholesome in this world, please, please, do not ever mention that codfish's codpiece again."

He smiled, pleased by his own joke, and he said, "Heh, heh? Was that my first 'dad' joke? It might have been." He looked at Billy, smiling broadly, "Say 'I'm hungry.' Hi, hungry," he went on as if Billy had had a chance to comply. "I'm Dad."

Then, he stopped, and he looked at the young man in his tux and he said, "Yeah... I'm Dad."
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Speed
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Tommy had to remember where in the world he was right now. Human shopkeepers, well shopkeepers in general didn't often like the mutant that sped around their shop faster than their eyes could keep up with. He was dreading having his turn at being prodded and poked by pins and measured up by the tailor. Luckily Billy and Tommy were pretty similar, if not identical in builds - though Tommy was slightly more muscular than his twin, so at least half the job was done already as his twin got measured.

Restricting his speed somewhat, to a brisk walk, he looked over the drinks. Tommy wasn't really one for fancy coffees, they were expensive and he had grown up in a family that didn't really spend money on that sort of thing, and two did a speedster really need any chemicals to make them any more hyperactive? So he opted for what he believed to be a safe option and took one of the drinks that looked relatively 'normal'. Taking a sip from his drink, he listened to the talk of the bachelor party? Parties? By the sounds of it they were going to have a joint one, but didn't that defeat the purpose of having one?

"Paint balling sounds good though." Of course anything where Tommy could win, would sound good to him, and it sounded relatively 'safe' for someone that did not entertain the idea of seeing men in their skivvies as anything 'fun'. That bubble was soon burst though as the Namor-esk stripper came up and his face quickly twisted into something that looked like he had a whole chopped up lemon shoved in his mouth.

Thankfully before Tommy could argue that particular aspect of the bachelor party, he was saved by the comic genius that was his dad. The rather terrible dad jokes instantly hitting Tommy's funny bone and making him forget what he was going to say as it was replaced with laughter. Tommy really was cut from the same cloth as Simon, and took after his dad far more than he might have realised.

"Do we still get to do speeches?" Tommy asked curiously once he had recovered enough from his dad induced laughter. "Because I may, or may not have most of mine written already." Which was perhaps going to be a little interesting, given that Billy and Tommy had very few shared memories over their twenty one years, but even in the short amount of time they had known each other, Tommy had a wealth of stuff to draw upon for his speech.
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Ted Kaplan-Altman
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"Well, I'd point out that the fun of paintball is that the bullets can't hurt you," Ted observed to Simon with an affectionate smile, "but then again I suppose in your case that's true of live ammo as well." Admittedly the same was true of Ted himself, but he'd found what he most enjoyed about paintball was the other side of the equation... getting to shoot people just for fun, with absolutely no chance of hurting anyone. Still, he could understand Simon's position. No doubt it helped that Simon had been a SHIELD agent much longer than Ted had, and had started out as a human agent; his training and experience had no doubt emphasized the use of firearms in a way that Ted's more recent training hadn't.

"You have a point about the threat potential, though, I'll grant you," he conceded with a chuckle. Privately, he also appreciated that when emphasizing Ted's dangerousness Simon had tagged him as a "shapeshifter" rather than "an alien," which he'd heard far too much of during the months after the Secret Invasion. "Especially if Wanda joins us. Heck, we might destabilize reality itself," he added, praying to heaven that he was joking. Not that this was likely to discourage Tommy from his plans.

He stayed politely quiet at Simon's "joke," pleased that it was directed at the twins so he wouldn't have to express an opinion, and that Tommy seemed to enjoy it... because well, someone ought to. The man's obvious pride over his son tugged at Ted's heart, though. Simon might be old-fashioned and a bit of a goof, but he loved his wife and kids, no matter how strange they were or how new he was to the role of husband or father or ion-powered metahuman. And as far as Ted was concerned, loving Billy was enough to make Simon family, however confusing and metaphysical and chronologically entangled the process that got him here was.

"As for speeches," he replied with a chuckle to Tommy's question, "could we really stop you if we tried?"
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Kate Bishop
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It was truly bizarre hearing Teddy's future father-in-law lump her in with himself, a reality warper, a speedster and a shapeshifter. Kate didn't really do anything in that sense. And she had yet to actually ask Ted precisely what the deal with the shapeshifting was. Honestly she was still struggling to wrap her head around the revelation that he wasn't a mutant but a Skrull refugee jokingly named after a gamma-radiated metahuman fugitive... She wasn't even daring to ask too much about the temporal weirdness surrounding Billy and Tommy's origins or Wonderman's Ionic infusion. Like Simon she was still relatively new to all the fantastical phenomena so... one step at a time. She could empathise with Mr Williams on that level. That was possibly why she laughed along with Tommy at the terrible 'dad joke' that would have definitely been worthy of her own father's comedy stylings.

“Do we still get to do speeches?” Tommy asked curiously once he had recovered enough from his dad induced laughter. “Because I may, or may not have most of mine written already.”

Kate shot the speedster an incredulous look “What?! There's writing to be done? Other than vows? Or parental speeches? Crap! I mean sorry! I mean... I don't know...”

“As for speeches, could we really stop you if we tried?”

“Don't tell me. It'll be some supremely embarrassing powerpoint presentation listing every awkward power hiccup and weird ex-boyfriend at ninety miles an hour.” She looked over to Billy, taking a long slurp of cold coffee. “At least if he's going quick enough it'll only be the other speedsters coming that hear him.” Because she assumed there just had to be others like him coming. Or maybe just hoped. If there were other people who could keep up with him then maybe they could keep him occupied and help her avoid a repeat of anything like her first meeting with Tommy in Central park last year. Awkward was simply not a word adequate enough to describe the level of gawky tension that had ensued back then.

“At my sister's wedding the only people who had to get up and say anything to the crowd were my dad, my brother-in-law's bestie and a SHIELD agent with a megaphone.” And that was probably an odd kind of statement. “He had to debrief everyone about the armed robbers that crashed the ceremony... I stabbed the ringleader in the leg. It was in the papers and everything.” She tried adding breezily. “Um... I might be better at beating people up than writing speeches...”
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