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Damaged Diamonds; -Professor Xavier-
Topic Started: Oct 8 2014, 04:24 AM (174 Views)
Emma Frost
Unregistered

Date: 10/1/14
Time: 2:00pm



The Xavier Family mansion was a big place, However it never seemed to be quite big enough all of the time. The noise of a hundred mutants fill most every room and even in the sub-levels there was always the chance to come upon an X-Men or two. So finding a quiet place to focus or just be alone wasn't always easy a task Emma Frost has come to understand very well over the past year since the fall of the Illuminati and yet another black mark in her book.

There was however one sanctuary in the walls of the mansion where quiet and judgment from the other mansion inhabitants could be found as well as perhaps her only friend currently residing in the mansion the owner himself and founder of the X-Men, Charles Xavier. It was one year to the day that Cyclops allowed Emma residence back into the mansion and during her time back she tried to stray away from any and all drama she could.

To some she was almost a ghost mostly only hearing stories about her or brief sightings. Most of Emma's time has been helping any who sought out her help she had a few cases she had been working on the past year the most high profile of them being Charles Xavier himself. Which is what brings her to his office yet again today. After the ravages of the Hand it left Charles' mind unstable his abilities have been jeopardized and his mental defenses broken.

Charles and Emma have spent the past few months trying to rebuild those mental defenses and helping him regain the control over his abilities he once had. A slight knock on his door announced her arrival as she waited a brief moment outside before turning the knob and entering his office to greet the Professor. “Good Afternoon Charles, All is well I hope?” Emma asked as she moved further into the room and taking the seat across from his desk.
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Xavier
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Resting on the couch that had been placed before the fireplace in the room, one might assume Charles Xavier was asleep, but Emma would know better. Charles was not a vain man by any stretch of the imagination, his recovery after the injury that had left his legs useless had taken away any sense of modesty and arrogance he might have once had. If the doctors weren't poking and prodding at his limbs as they wasted away, it had been the nurses helping him learn how to use the facilities or sponge bathing him when he was to weak to tend to his own needs. There had been the depression to contend with as well and that was certainly enough to drive off any lingering overabundance of self worth.

But even now, after years of being without the use of his legs, he preferred not to allow others to watch him in the struggle from his chair to his couch, and since he would be on the couch for his session with Emma, he had prepared accordingly.

"Come in, Emma, please," Charles said, waving a hand towards a chair, his eyes still closed, "I'm readying myself, using tonglen, that Tibetan meditation technique I was telling you about. It is a way to awaken compassion for the suffering around you, something I feel I have sorely been lacking since my return." He did not open his eyes, as if he was afraid to see judgment in her face. "I resent the thoughts I hear from the students in this school, from the staff. They expect me to be the Professor they remember or they have learned about but I am not yet what I once was. I have a heavy weight on my shoulders and my back is still too fragile to bear it. Is that selfish? I think it is, so I must relearn to be the man I was when I started."

Only now did he open his eyes to look at her, "I mean, of course, the man who started this school with a handful of desperate and frightened children. The man I was before this chair... well, he did not use these abilities with any sense of responsibility. Bit of an entitled brat, I'm afraid."
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Emma Frost
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The Professor welcomed Emma in as usual and noted he was readying himself with a Tibetan meditation technique. It was supposed to help share the compassion for suffering of the others around you. Something Emma herself had little interest in, There was a lot of suffering in the mansion both from the staff and student body. Emma herself had suffered enough she did not need to bear the weight of the entire mansion on top of her own problems. But that perhaps was the fundamental difference between the Professor and Emma Frost.

“Students will always hate their teachers and they are all your students in some form or another after all.” Emma joked however the words that followed were spoken in a more serious tone of voice. “The definition of 'selfish' Is concerning yourself excessively or exclusively with ones self. To seek or concentrate on ones own advantage, pleasure or well being without regard for others. I also believe my photographic is pictured right there in Websters.” Emma smiled only for it to quickly fade away from her face.

“The mere fact you care what the others think disqualifies you from being selfish. You hold a deep regard for everyone in your family’s estate. From those you brought in during your first days, to those you used Cerebro to seek out and even the ones you have yet to meet. They simply must understand the ordeal you went through was no merry holiday in the Royal Penthouse suite of the Hotel President in Geneva, Switzerland.”

As the Professor spoke on the entitled brat he once was as a telepath growing up with a wealthy family whom showed little respect for their abilities Emma wasn't entirely sure if he was saying that to show her that even the most hopeless cases can change if they put in the time and effort on themselves. “And perhaps you may never find that man you were once again. As we grow and age we must change and evolve after all isn't that the irony of our genetics? But I am confident we will get you back to feeling like yourself again. Maybe you'll different, maybe those changes in you will be for the better. But I wouldn't concern myself with trying to be who you once were and trying to work back to that let us move forward and let us focus on making you the best you can possibly be right now.”
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Xavier
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Xavier smiled at Emma's simultaneous elevation of him while degrading herself, and he said, "You're a fascinating woman, Miss Frost. People with our unique abilities, we are both at an advantage and a disadvantage. We can hear the truth and the lie in the minds of those around us, and if we aren't careful, we can use that covert knowledge to determine our self worth. Is it a secret that my first class was made up of those who were desperate, who had nowhere to go? Scott full of rage, Warren hiding shame in arrogance, Jean half mad with fear, Hank, Jonny, Mina... they needed me, and it was easy for me to show them that the world needed them because of it. They were so in need of a reason to exist."

He sat up, pulling himself up with deceptively strong arms, and he looked Emma in the eye, "But maybe I was just in need of that reason."

Gesturing to the chair across from his couch, he said, "Please, Emma, have a seat. I have always found it uncomfortable when others stand over me, not for myself, you realize, but because it causes them such discomfort, as if my disability somehow made their ability shameful, as if they were somehow to blame because they could walk. I find this to be the same with so many of our students. They fear and hate what they can do because they feel guilty that others cannot, because they have been told that they should feel guilty. An endless cycle that we should work to break, don't you think?"

Waiting for her to sit, Charles asked, "Why do you think so poorly of yourself, Emma? You make light jokes about your selfishness and how you aren't like the rest of us here who want to make a difference, but through the haze of what was being done to me by the Hand, I remember what it is you did for Scott. What I don't know is why? Why did you put yourself in that position? Surely not to save the world. Scott, the dear boy that he is, likes to believe that he has the whole world as his burden, but he is not the savior of the mutant race. I don't think such a person exists. You helped him, why? What was in it for Emma Frost?"
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Emma Frost
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Emma remained quiet as the Professor spoke and listened to his words before he gestured to the chair and offered Emma a seat. While Emma slowly made her way over to the chair she made sure as to continue to listen tot he professor as he spoke on others feeling guilt to having full use of all their facilities while he did not. “I feel shame and guilt for a great many things Professor. But not being able to walk honestly you should consider yourself the fortunate one. Have you ever tried to walk in 6 inch stilettos?” Emma jested while she came down in the seat showing off her shoes.

“Truly a punishment of humanity, But they look scintillating.” Emma continued as she dropped her foot back to the floor while the Professor went on to ask her why she thought so poorly of her own self despite the lengths she went to in the aid of the others during their unfortunate internment at the hands of The Hand. Emma did feel as if she got a bum deal in the aftermath of the Illuminati she never felt she got her due credit from the others but hoped that those who were there those who felt the effects of her aid would in time come to recognize what she did for them.

“You said it yourself Professor. You said 'We can hear the truth and the lie in the minds of those around us, and if we aren't careful, we can use that covert knowledge to determine our self worth.'” Emma reiterated the Professors earlier words. “Others seem to have no qualm telling me mentally or verbally exactly how they feel about me. Whether or not its warranted, Whether they know the full story and the extents I have gone to help preserve this world and return their friends with their humanity intact. I have been judged and found guilty by my peers.”

Emma paused briefly as she let out a small sigh. “And now I must serve my penance and hope that time may heal the wounds of my actions.” Emma then flashed a half flaccid smile before she continued to answer the Professors question. “To answer your question however I did it because it was what was right. When I was approached by Victor Von Doom I was in a lonely place ostracized by the X-Men for my decision to leave in the wake of the Purifiers bombings. Driven from the Sanctuary for helping free Mystique from torture at the hands of the Brotherhood. I had no where else to go I had run out of friends and options. So I accepted Dooms offering knowing full well what the man was capable of. Someone needed to keep an eye on that threat, and I needed a purpose much like the members of your first class did.”

“That was when I contacted Scott and kept him informed of Doom and the Illuminati's actions. However when Scott himself became a casualty of the war I could not leave him to die nor could I leave any of the other X-Men. So I did what I could to help them and then I did what I could to ultimately thwart Dooms plans to take the Phoenix Force. I did everything I could to prove I was worthy to be called a hero once again. However it seemed no matter what I did I was still judged and held to past mistakes. The X-Men who preach teamwork, forgiveness and acceptance. Well sometimes there is always prejudices in even the most noble of company.”
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Xavier
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"Scott and Jean have been gone for some time, Emma," Xavier reminded, "and the only mental disgust I heard from Mr. Summers was towards himself. He was very grateful towards you, and spoke to me of it. Jean, well, I have a suspicion that her dislike of you is less about the Illuminati and more about the intimacy with her husband, even if there was no physical consumation of the relationship. You are more than aware of the delicacy of our powers. To delve into the private areas of Scott's mind seems to Jean to be reserved for her and her alone. You were there for her husband in a time she could not be, is that not cause for jealousy?"

Xavier looked at the woman, carefully, noting that her tendency was to deflect discomfort with shallowness, and gratitude with discontent. She wasn't used to anyone being kind to her, and so possibly could not even recognize it. Slights and insults became magnified in her mind because it was expected, it was tragic, it was soul crushingly sad, and it was 100% Emma's choice.

"I'm in no position to order my X-Men to love you," Charles said, "nor would I do so if I was. If you are being treated unfairly, then you should confront that as is your right. However, I am not exactly certain you are. You say you have not been welcomed, but don't you have a home here? You said you are excluded, but what have you done to include yourself? You say you are being judged, but by who? Which of my X-Men have not been poorly used or not made regretful decisions? Remember when I spoke of how we telepaths run the risk of having the mental impressions of others dictate our self worth? Perhaps this is what's happening here? Perhaps you so expect to be hated and cast aside that you are making it so?"

He spread his hands, and said, "Or perhaps I'm just ignorant of the situation."

His tone suggested that this last thing was not what he believed.
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Emma Frost
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The Professor took his turn to speak once again touching on a variety of subjects. “I am afraid Jean's issues with me precede any involvement with her husband, the Hand and the Illuminati. I have long since come to the conclusion there are a great and many things Jean Grey-Summers and I will never see eye to eye on and quiet honestly Professor I have given up trying with her.” the relationship between Emma and Jean over the years has been nothing if not bereft. Perhaps their clashing styles, opinions and life situations were far too gone to reconcile at this point.

“Nor would I ever ask you to instruct anyone to love me.” Emma added in response to the Professor. “Nor do I feel I am in any sort of position to take um bridge with said treatment. There is no denying I have made mistakes in my past. Bad decisions do not always seem so bad when we make them however. But I have always done what I felt was for the best. Perhaps what is best for me is not best for others involved. I am not as self sacrificing as a man of Scott Summers caliber, Perhaps that is my design flaw an Achilles heel if you will.”

Emma then inhaled a deep breathe before slowly letting it out. “I will not name names it is simply beneath me, Charles. However I have not been fully forgiven by many for my decision to leave with Magneto after the bombing, Many felt I betrayed the X-Men as a whole and joined the Brotherhood which is simply untrue I simply sought out Sanctuary of my own and tried to bring the ideals and your vision to the Students of Magento's Academy of Tomorrow. My reputation was further drug through the mud as a terrorist within the Illuminati and my imagined escapades with Scott.”

“Not all however share the same opinion, Some have been more forgiving than others. While some swear they will never forgive nor forget my actions while being ignorant of choices I've made. I have considered calling an assembly to explain my side of the story. Explain to them I never joined the Brotherhood. Explain to them I never joined the Illuminati without speaking with Scott first. Explain while in the Illuminati I did everything I could to prevent injury and bodily harm while sabotaging them as much as I could without being discovered. But what would that really accomplish?”

Perhaps Emma was being closed minded, But many of the X-Men have given her little reason to believe that her honest word would hold any weight at all. “Would it really sway one opinion of one person? Possibly. But would it also further damage my reputation? Would others see it as me bending the truth and situation to put myself in a better light? Would others resent me more for calling everyone out and telling them how they are so very wrong about me and how I am so very right. It wouldn't show much modesty or humbleness on my part now would it? No, I don't suppose it would.”
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