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| Zar Citanul; Fluff for my Mortal Chaos Lord of Khorne | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 12 2004, 11:54 PM (1,119 Views) | |
| Gurkhal | Dec 23 2004, 09:32 PM Post #16 |
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Master of the Eleven Foot Stick of Supreme Sticking
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More Citanul, more! Great story, lots of death and carnage, just the way Khorne like it. |
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| end of mankind | Dec 23 2004, 10:42 PM Post #17 |
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Clanlord
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nice again snyggejygge! it's nice that you didn't make it like Achilles' landing on the beach in the movie 'Troy' (have you seen it?) where he just kills everything in his path (yes, everything) without getting a scratch himself. |
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| rogge_85 | Dec 24 2004, 03:32 AM Post #18 |
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Anti spammer
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As good as the first part! Canīt wait until the next chapter! |
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| Whitethunder500 | Dec 24 2004, 04:27 AM Post #19 |
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Insane until further notice.
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Neither can I, it'll hopefully be the best bit! |
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| snyggejygge | Dec 24 2004, 05:56 AM Post #20 |
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High Zar of Khorne
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Thanks guys, itīs comments like these that inspire me to write more! end of mankind: Yes Iīve seen Troy (a couple of times) & well some things have to be a little like it, with both stories being about a battle on a shore. But my story is based on a battle I played against Dark elves, using an exalted champion as a general, he was actually cut down by an assassin (never happened to me before) but my warriors killed the assassin in return & won the combat... I think I included this in the story very well (& as a specialcharacter Zar Citanul is a lord & would therefore had an extra wound, meaning he wouldnīt be dead). |
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| rogge_85 | Dec 24 2004, 09:16 PM Post #21 |
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Anti spammer
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Hmm it took 11 days for part 2 to come up, so then part 3 should be posted around the 3:rd of January. |
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| end of mankind | Dec 24 2004, 09:44 PM Post #22 |
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Clanlord
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yes, it sure is included very good! but as part 3 is to tell the story of the rest of the campaign, and part two only handled one battle and it's aftermath, I think it will take longer to write part 3 ;) |
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| snyggejygge | Dec 25 2004, 06:49 PM Post #23 |
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High Zar of Khorne
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If you read at the end of chapter 2 youīll see that Iīve changed it, part 3 will be about the Alliance & part 4 will handle the rest of the campaign, but that doesnīt mean it will be up in 11 days for sure... |
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| end of mankind | Dec 25 2004, 08:34 PM Post #24 |
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Clanlord
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ok, sorry 'bout that little mistake.. I'll write that down and keep you to your word! *grabs a piece of paper and notes: '3rd of january, zar citanul part 3 online.'* :P |
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| snyggejygge | Dec 31 2004, 08:41 PM Post #25 |
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High Zar of Khorne
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Chapter 3, the alliance is done, look at the first post to read it. Itīs the longest chapter so far, but I assure you itīs worth the reading. eom & Rogge: Iīm ahead of schedule! Must be the holidays... |
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| The Flying Beaver | Dec 31 2004, 09:21 PM Post #26 |
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Clanlord
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Really cool story! I couldn't pull away from the story because I simply had to keep reading! One comment though. Don't use &. Write out and rather than using & same with numbers. instead of 64, write sixty-four. It looks a lot better. |
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| end of mankind | Dec 31 2004, 09:21 PM Post #27 |
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Clanlord
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it was very well worth it indeed! but at first I thought that the chaos Karl was my Karl, it was quite confusing, but in the end I understood it all :D veerry good story anyway, and it truly is very Khorne-like to fight even though it costs you your brother ;) |
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| snyggejygge | Dec 31 2004, 09:32 PM Post #28 |
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High Zar of Khorne
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As said before Iīm not really a writer, but Iīll remember this for chapter 4 & any other stories Iīll write, always good with some critisicm that will help me write better... Changed it. eom: Yes I thought about it later that it could be a little cnfusing, didnīt think of it when I started writing it tough.... & thx for the comments guys. |
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| Gurkhal | Dec 31 2004, 09:42 PM Post #29 |
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Master of the Eleven Foot Stick of Supreme Sticking
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Really great snyggejygge, even better than the ones before it!. |
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| Whitethunder500 | Jan 1 2005, 12:10 AM Post #30 |
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Insane until further notice.
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Fantastisch, toll, super, as the germans say! |
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