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Church Bullentins; via email
Topic Started: Mar 21 2005, 10:10 AM (174 Views)
Stace4Jesus
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They're back! Church Bulletins:

Thank God for church ladies (or maybe they were on vacation and the gentlemen had to fill in) with typewriters. These sentences actually
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:





The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan:
Last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure
to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there wi ll be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited
to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement
Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.





:woopi
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Bill and Joan
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Where's that guy who slaps the ground in hysterics???

These were toooo funny!!!! Thanks so much for brightning our day with laugher!!! F U N N Y!!!

:lol:
Joan
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Caroline
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Those were funny. I love bloopers! Just putting a comma in the wrong place, or omitting one can make it say something totally different, and is sometimes halarious.

:knight
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