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Jokes
Topic Started: Aug 18 2011, 02:48 PM (14 Views)
Kim Jong Un
Administrator
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There was this Mexican guy, Black guy, and Asian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss calls a meeting with them about today’s work. They were all pretty new, so they had to be assigned jobs.

He says to the Mexican guy, "You’re in charge of the cement."
He says to the Black guy, "You’re in charge of the dirt."
He says to the Asian guy, "You’re in charge of the supplies."
After delegating out all the responsibilies he says, "I’m gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you’re all fired." The boss was quite serious and had a reputation for being shrewd. They immediately get to work.

At the end of the day, the boss comes back and checks on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and says, "Nice work," to the Mexican guy. He looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Nice work," to the Black guy. He looks around and can’t find the Asian guy anywhere so he asks, "Where the heck is that Asian guy?"

All of a sudden, the Asian jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

:thumbup
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Kim Jong Un
Administrator
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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his penis and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the **** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
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Kim Jong Un
Administrator
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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"
The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that **** again , you're in my closet now.
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Kim Jong Un
Administrator
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A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines
from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been
looking out the window) turned to his mother and
asked, if big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have
baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes? The
mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son
to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the
stewardess, if big dogs have baby dogs and big cats
have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?
The stewardess responded, did your mother tell you to
ask me? The boy admitted that this was the case. Tell
your mother that there are no baby planes because
Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can
explain that to you.
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Kim Jong Un
Administrator
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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they

talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to

cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya
swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down
her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his
tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the
obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the
Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver'

but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
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Kim Jong Un
Administrator
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What activity do 9 out of 10 people always enjoy?

Gang Rape...

LMAO
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