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| Utada Tenshi | May 6 2007, 08:36 PM |
Level 4
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Going Up in Flames (The Phoenix) Going Up in Flames January 15, 2005 To Baba and Mama If you are reading this, it means that I have run away. Do not search for me, as I do not wish to return to the Cheng residency. I could never be the successful doctor that you wish me to be, so stop setting yourselves up for disappointment. I am sorry that I could not live up to your expectations, for I realize how much of a failure I am. -Cheng Huang Putting down my pencil, I read over the letter. It seemed good enough to me. I find it amazing as to how much feeling can be put onto a piece of paper. It was a nice way to vent. Some of the people my age that I knew were considering suicide. I couldn’t completely understand. There were extreme amounts of pressure building on us for good grades. Combine that with the pains of adolescence, and you have the recipe for one depressed teenager. As for me, I decided to put up with it. I was not going to live with them forever, and as insane as they were, I still loved them. Besides, it’s not like my parents hated me. To the average Chinese parent, the three most vital things to a child's life were education, education, and education. For us, there were no "good grades" or "bad grades". It was only when we made one hundred's that our parents were satisfied. Eventually, a parent would stop giving recognition to the one hundred's and start criticizing us for anything else. My parents wished for me to get an education so I could be a doctor. I could not think of a more terrifying job that required absolute perfection and precision. For someone as clumsy as me, a job like that was torture. No. My lifelong dream was to be a singer, to be able to express my feelings for the masses to hear. Ever since I could walk, I trained myself to master every musical instrument I could get my hands on: traditional Chinese instruments, the flute, the piano, the saxophone, and various others. At first, my parents were thrilled to have a musical prodigy for a child. What parent would not be thrilled? It was when I discovered my second favorite instrument to date that they suppressed my talent. What was the instrument? It was the electric guitar. My favorite happened to be a traditional Chinese flute made out of a hollowed-out bamboo rod. For some reason, the sound of the flute uplifted my spirits. A strange thing, considering I was someone who listened to rock groups like Brain Failure, a punk rock band based in Beijing. I even enjoyed some foreign rock music: Within Temptations, Sugarcult, the All-American Rejects, and t.A.T.u. I suspected it has something to do with the fact that I was born in the year of the Feng Huang the Phoenix, the ruler of the birds. It is more commonly known as the year of the rooster, but there is a significant difference. Phoenixes fight with good intentions while roosters fight for sport. Anyway, I happened to read an article once on Feng Huang. As it turns out, my parents named me after the bird, or half of it. Feng Huang is two birds, Feng being male, and Huang being female. Huang represents empresses, a sign my parents took for success. On Earth, Feng Huang nests in the Kun Lun Mountains in wu tung trees. It is believed if one plays a musical instrument sitting under a wu tung tree, Feng Huang blesses the musician by adding its own sweet melody to the music. Both birds can sing the sweetest melody in the five Chinese harmonic notes and it is said that the tune was the basis for the Chinese musical scale (to listen to the scale, play the black keys on a piano). According to Chinese astrology, the main character traits for Phoenixes are being perceptive and hardworking. We are deep thinkers with lots of ability and talent. Our talent and generosity make us popular with others on all levels. We are competitive to a fault, falling apart immediately from failure. We tend to be loner and fortunes can swing high or low for us. Sometimes, we come across as self-centered egomaniacs. Using other astrological information, my parents have attempted to set me up with a future husband whom Dragon, as these it is the most compatible sign with the Phoenix. Personally, marrying someone who is five years older than me does not sound appealing. I was snapped out of my thoughts by my laptop. The sound of the ring tone-like version of “Angels” told me I had new e-mail. The message popped up on screen. To: FlamingPhoenix@gmail.com From: AntiAuthorityYanki@gmail.com Subject: Re: Parent Help Sry bout ur folks, Phoenix. I can relate, but hey, in the end, gotta luv ur folks. doing ok in nyc. Can u believe how much people eat here? Like pigs! Talking 2 Butterfly later! -Signed, “A-bomb” Hiroshi I laughed. My friend Hiroshi went by the nickname “A-bomb” since his name was one syllable away from being Hiroshima. Nabi, Butterfly, was another e-mail friend from North Korea. I had told my parents about Nabi, and they had approved, but I didn’t tell them about Hiroshi. Why? Ever since the Japanese invaded China during World War II, the Chinese and Japanese have atched each other likes hawks for any reasons whatsoever to pick a fight with each other. I did not want my laptop privileges revoked, so I kept Hiroshi a secret. Thinking about my life made me really depressed. Normally, people my age mutilate themselves in some way to make the depression go away. I have an alternative method that lifts the spirits to the sky. What is the method? “IT’S TIME TO GET SUGAR HIGH!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. I lept off my bed and looked under it. There was my medicine: a stash of candy that Hiroshi had sent to me as a Christmas gift, since he didn’t like sweets. There is a reason that the Chinese phrase for America means “beautiful country”. It has to be the candy. In China, anything that is sweet is meant to serve a healthy purpose. The American concept of eating candy just for fun is sheer genius. I lost count of how much candy I ate in that anti-depressant session. The next thing I knew, I was singing “Bouncin Off the Walls” by Sugarcult like I’m drunk. “I’m bouncin off the walls again. Woah. I’m lookin like a fool again. Woah.” Something must have come over me. I found myself dancing on the roof. Then I found myself falling off the roof. Suddenly, I felt a floating sensation. Looking at myself, I noticed that I was my body was engulfed in what looked like fire. I tried to move around, and I began to fly around. I assumed that I had fallen asleep during my state of euphoria. Looking at my reflection in a nearby window, I noticed that I had sprouted flaming wings. I had a tail that was in many different colors. I just stared at my reflection. A strong gust suddenly came by. I couldn’t go against it. I went with the breeze, waiting for myself to slam into something. Instead, I opened my eyes in order to find myself in my room again. I was on lying on top of my bed. Looking beneath it, I noticed that none of the candy in my stash had been eaten. According to my laptop, it had been about five minutes since I read Hiroshi’s message. I fall asleep so easily these days. I was feeling depressed again, but I decided to go somewhere nice instead of eating the candy. I’m afraid of what will happen if I return to the state of euphoria. Before I go though… ~~~~~ Ms. Cheng’s hands were trembling as she read the letter. It was the letter that parents that cared about their children were afraid to receive: January 15, 2005 To Baba and Mama If you are reading this, it means that I have run away. Do not search for me, as I do not wish to return to the Cheng residency. I could never be the successful doctor that you wish me to be, so stop setting yourselves up for disappointment. I am sorry that I could not live up to your expectations, for I realize how much of a failure I am. -Cheng Huang Ms. Cheng was about to drop to the floor in a dead faint when she noticed a PS at the bottom of the letter. After reading it, she sighed in both amusement and exasperation. Her daughter had quite a sense of humor. PS I was kidding. I went over to Wang Lan’s house to play. |
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| Zodiac · Writer's and Artists | |
6:52 AM Nov 28
