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am I a sinner for not forgiving?; when nobody asks for forgiveness
Topic Started: Thu 26 Apr 2012 17:14:01 (182 Views)
Posted Imagevixen
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Almost 4 years ago, I was burdened by my anger towards somebody who had the very privilege to give me the greatest pain of my life (as of the moment man ketdi). Hurt and bitter as I was, I wished him the worst of everything. I remember a time I even hoped he's dead. I am glad he's still alive now. I am glad too, that though I had a list of vengeful plan plotted on my mind, I did not took vengeance in my heart, saving me from eternal guilt.

Dirty and ugly I became, Karma pitied me. Beautiful and shining I am now, I pity him.

I am still young though. I am yet to start a life free of the burden my past cast on me. I say yes to "easy to forgive but difficult to forget". But I guess forgiving and forgetting are both difficult in my case. Or maybe it is just how I think it is. I am not even sure if I will ever get past through at least one of these two.

I am blessed. I have a wonderful family of my own now. An extraordinary husband. Two loving earthlings too ( :D ). It's a shame I still can not claim forgiving the deeds of the past.

I am afraid my thirst of vengeance is still alive within me. I have a glimpse of how far pitiful they are now (well, compared to what I have got lang naman which is not that much din). And I know it must be enough for me to let go. I know, I will not be dancing with joy if one day I see them crawling for mercy. The thing is...how will I ever know?...when not even once had they asked for my forgiveness...when they should have asked for it 4 years ago.

_________________________________________ :unsure: :( ___________________________________________________




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If some lives form a perfect circle, others take shape in ways we cannot predict or always understand.
Loss has always been a part of my journey, but it has also shown me what is precious. So has a love for which I can only be grateful.(quoted: Message in a bottle)
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