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The CHRONO ARTICLE thread.; Let's discuss!
Topic Started: May 20 2009, 06:42 PM (276 Views)
Phasion Medden
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Is the strap on that dress supposed to do that?
 *
So a few of us run a gossip rag holozine called Chrono. We encourage discussion on the articles inside and here's a place to do it (besides commenting on each article individually, of course)! SO TALK AWAY.

Oh yeah, you can find the holozine [here]. READ. GO FOR IT. READ.
You're dressed like a bothan on crack. Go change.

... if you insist on wearing that, the least you can do is read the holozine -- come on, you know you think you're a fashionista.
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Dimitri Ambros
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He knows the news before you do.
 *
GAMMOREAN FLU. JUST HOW SERIOUS IS IT?

Posted Image

With the Coruscant Sector confirming 167 cases of Gamorrean Flu and the Galactic Health Organization raising its pandemic alert level from probable to imminent, how serious of a threat does this disease pose? GHO says the virus, which as killed an estimated 632 on Gamorrean homeworld Gamorr, is showing a “sustained ability” to pass from humaniod to humaniod and is able to cause planet-wide outbreaks.

Coruscant’s leading experts from the Coruscant Centre for Disease Control, Galactic Health Organization, and the University of Corellia Research Center give their thoughts on just how serious the threat might be.

Dr Ferith G. P’Tarke, Chief Medical Officer at CCDC, warns “We are expecting a pandemic in the near future. As many as forty to fifty percent of the population will contract this virus. The good news? We are prepared. Each precinct has a stockpile of medicine on hand capable of treating anyone who contracts the virus. We all know that different races have different immune systems and medicinal needs. We’ve equipped for that.”

Dr. Mischa Corsol, head researcher for the GHO, said “A new strain of flu is something against which we have no natural immunity. We have not been vaccinated against it because no vaccine exists, leaving many people more vulnerable. It spreads more easily and affects more people. The top laboratories across the Galaxy are studying this Gamorrean Flue. When we know more about it, we will be able to better predict the seriousness of this virus and who will be most at risk. At this point I cannot conjecture what is likely to happen."

Professor Deren Kendo, Virology Expert at the UC Research Center, states “If the Huttvian Flu virus H5N1 had spread from humanoid to humanoid like the current Gamorrean Flu H1N1 I would be very concerned. My entire team would be on Red Alert. As it is, the Gamorrean Flu is less of a threat. As a population we have immunity to H1N1. Outside of Gamorr, there have been very few deaths. We should not panic. This does not appear as if it will sweep the galaxy or cause massive mortality rates."

Now that the leading experts have weighed in, how serious will you take the Gamorrean Flu? The Chrono wants to know. Should facemasks and gloves be worn at all times? Or is this just another hype created and spread by the mass media? Join in on the discussion here or catch us at the Chrono.
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Phasion Medden
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Is the strap on that dress supposed to do that?
 *
So I hear masks covering the nose and mouth are in style for humans and humanoids now?
You're dressed like a bothan on crack. Go change.

... if you insist on wearing that, the least you can do is read the holozine -- come on, you know you think you're a fashionista.
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Dimitri Ambros
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He knows the news before you do.
 *
There does seem to be a trend.
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Mekla Meeker
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I don't want all your life's story, just the highlights
 *
Oh you have got to be kidding. I don't care how bad it is; you won't catch me dead in one of those masks! Ugh, so tacky!
So then he said that she said that she was talking to whatshername and she said... wait, hang on, I've got another call coming in! Here, go read something while I see what's up! (Doesn't that holopage have the cutest layout?)
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P-Hizzle
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SILENT HILL 2 [ Pyramid Head ]
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Ahahaha, like I can get diseases. You poor, silly humans.
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graceless
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STAR WARS [ Zekk ]
 *  *
LOLOLOLOL KYP GOT THIS THE OTHER DAY. I should feel bad cause that's compassionate and stuff but he's been pretty nasty lately so I think the universe kind of thought he deserved it.
Evenin' bitches! <3

Name's Zekk and I'm the most emoting emo ever, no question! Actually that's wrong, but you know I have to keep up appearances. *flips hair* Time to go eat some decorative plants, mmmhmm.
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Ceev Starellle
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Galaxy's Best Editor.
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I will reshare what I have shared already on the holozine. I know some of you need to be informed.

-----------------------------------

Recently, we reported on the Gamorrean Flu (see above) and I am here today to share with you another bit of news on something related.

We have heard from numerous sources that there has been a stash of something discovered in a storage unit on Fondor. It has been reported that the items in these storage units are small vats of a liquid that has been tested and contains harmful chemicals. These chemicals, when a living being comes in contact with them, kill said being and change their bodily functions after death, causing them to possibly be reanimated.

So you guys remember that hologame Reanimateds Ate My Neighbors...? Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Anyways, where did my caf mug go? Has anyone seen it?
I love each and every one of my employees. Really. I buy them things. Like happiness.
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Dimitri Ambros
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He knows the news before you do.
 *
Really, Ceev? Zombies?

Please don't make me go and investigate this crap. I'm working on a big story involving a senator and a Wookie. Send Phaison or something. I mean how much fashion is there to report on, anyway?
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Phasion Medden
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Is the strap on that dress supposed to do that?
 *
Dimitri Ambros
Oct 25 2009, 11:07 PM
Send Phaison or something. I mean how much fashion is there to report on, anyway?
............. I know you did not just--

Awww, Dimitri, you're writing a story about your Mommy and Daddy. How sweet.

And Ceev, yeah, like I told you on the holozine... I don't believe it. So if you want confirmation on this (besides all your "reports"), then you should probably just go yourself. It's Corsucant Fashion Week and apparently the intern over here is "busy"... so enjoy yourself and don't forget to comm us if you find anything out.
You're dressed like a bothan on crack. Go change.

... if you insist on wearing that, the least you can do is read the holozine -- come on, you know you think you're a fashionista.
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Dimitri Ambros
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He knows the news before you do.
 *
Phasion Medden
Oct 25 2009, 11:18 PM
Awww, Dimitri, you're writing a story about your Mommy and Daddy. How sweet.

...How old are you, Phaison, five?

Ceev, no one else is reporting on this. Anywhere. Who are these sources, anyway?
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Phasion Medden
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Is the strap on that dress supposed to do that?
 *
Dimitri Ambros
Oct 26 2009, 07:41 AM
Phasion Medden
Oct 25 2009, 11:18 PM
Awww, Dimitri, you're writing a story about your Mommy and Daddy. How sweet.

...How old are you, Phaison, five?
You're lucky you amuse me because usually I beat interns in the face for less than that.

Ceev, answer the kid's question. Cause I'm curious as well.
You're dressed like a bothan on crack. Go change.

... if you insist on wearing that, the least you can do is read the holozine -- come on, you know you think you're a fashionista.
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Ceev Starellle
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Galaxy's Best Editor.
 *
That's it. You two are going to Fondor.

I'm not sharing my sources with you. I don't want you little nerfs exploiting them.

*starts screaming from his office out to where they're sitting* And look at me. LOOK AT ME IN HERE. LOOK AT MY FACE. I AM SERIOUS. THIS IS MY SERIOUS FACE. PACK YOUR SHAVIT. I AM SENDING YOU TO FONDOR.
I love each and every one of my employees. Really. I buy them things. Like happiness.
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Dimitri Ambros
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He knows the news before you do.
 *
Ceev Starellle
Oct 26 2009, 09:02 PM
That's it. You two are going to Fondor.

I'm not sharing my sources with you. I don't want you little nerfs exploiting them.

*starts screaming from his office out to where they're sitting* And look at me. LOOK AT ME IN HERE. LOOK AT MY FACE. I AM SERIOUS. THIS IS MY SERIOUS FACE. PACK YOUR SHAVIT. I AM SENDING YOU TO FONDOR.
WHAT? But Ceev! I'm on the edge of breaking this story! It's full of scandal, lies, bribery, deceit and interspecies Wookie sex! You can't send me to Fondor now!

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Mekla Meeker
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I don't want all your life's story, just the highlights
 *
Ahem. While my colleagues are engaged in totally pointless and immature screaming, I, at least, will continue to bring you important news.

___

Readers, this reporter usually never reviews anything, especially not books, but just had to this time around because my life has been totally changed by Blackhole. In this reporter’s professional opinion it is the most amazing series ever written by anyone ever. In case you’ve been missing out on the phenomenon here’s what it’s about.

The main character is this girl who goes to live with her dad on Dantooine which is obviously depressing, or at least it is until she starts school and meets this really mysterious but totally gorgeous boy. Anyway, it turns out he’s totally an Anzati; you know, that species that sucks your brains out and lives forever? Except he and his family don’t and he’s totally romantic and they fall in love and it’s beautiful. In the next book, Nova, you find out her best friend is a Wyrwulve and he totally likes her, too, but really who cares when you have a handsome perfect romantic devoted Anzati around, right? Right. Anyway the whole series is about their love, which is totally pure and epic and romantic and amazing. It left this reporter both depressed at the lack of perfect guys in her life and optimistic about finding her own immortal, romantic, tormented Anzati lover.

The best part? They’re totally making a holofilm of it! There have been reports that Face Loran is slated to play the Anzati’s dad whose also a doctor, but there hasn’t been any confirmation on who else they’re casting. Obviously this fine publication will be working overtime to keep you informed, considering how incredibly important this is. I mean, I don’t have too much free time because I’m rereading these books for the 4th time, but what I do have will be devoted to keeping you up to date, readers.
So then he said that she said that she was talking to whatshername and she said... wait, hang on, I've got another call coming in! Here, go read something while I see what's up! (Doesn't that holopage have the cutest layout?)
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