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Mea culpa, and some news.
Topic Started: Dec 21 2006, 09:21 PM (317 Views)
Big Calson
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So I'll cut right to it and say that I don't know how much more I can be involved with the clan anymore. No, not because of the swearing thing. Seriously, I mean that. I erred and have to ride out the consequences, so take this as a lesson as what not to do in these forums. I apologize to all of those I may have offended.

~sigh~

Now, the meaty part of this post.

Today, around 3 or 4 o'clock, I had a seizure. Luckily my mom visited my place an called 911, as my eyes were rolled up into the back of my head and I was making some weird choking/gurgling noises. The ambulance comes and I land in the hospital, tubes sticking out of my arms, and with bruised ribcage from falling off of my couch. Over the next few hours I learn

A) I'll have to take a special medication (Dialantin) for seizures;
B) Legally I will not be able to drive for a year;
C) ER visits ain't cheap, and the health insurance plan I signed off on a few days ago hasn't come into effect yet.

Keep in my I have never had a seizure before in my life. I don't even remember it, and the doc says if I had one (say, while I was sleeping) I most likely wouldn't even know that it occurred.

As if that wasn't enough, I get home and my mail has the first $250 of 10 year's worth of student loan bills due next month.

To pay off these loans I need to work. To work I need a car. To drive a car I need to have been seizure-free for an entire year.

:(

My parents can help me out a bit, but as you can see this is a sticky situation. Oh yeah, I can't drink either, so the bar scene is out (on the other hand, bars cost $$$). Right now I'm just so confused and frustrated and upset, and this little forum drama isn't helping so I think I'll recuse myself for a while and hope you understand why. Again, I'm sorry for my part in the forum situation. If you can spare a prayer or two, please shoot one my way. You'll always be my first internet 'family,' and I appreciate all the good times we've had together. Here's to hoping for a better future, for you, me and each «A°G».

Love much,
Ben
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MoB SlayeR
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Ben...man im so sorry...ur a good person. u dont deserve this. man i dont no what to say, you know everyone here at «A°G» loves you. your a joy to be around most of the time and we all go through hard times, i fully forgive you for anything uve said. nothing youve done here has ever made me feel bitter towards you, your one of the great humans ive had the priveledge of knowing. it sux that this happens to you. its always the good ones that get hit the hardest. god is with you, always remember that he is your strongest ally, and so is everyone here, we are a family and when one is hurt, we all are. i have felt the impact of your post as has the rest of the clan. i wish you could stay around but i understand. god be with you, and good luck friend.


God Bless,
Slayer
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“God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity still in the cloud, the oil still in the earth. How often we look upon God as our last and feeblest resource. We go to Him because we have nowhere else to go. And then we learn that the storms of life have driven us, not upon the rocks, but into the desired Haven.”
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[hVn]VillanovA
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dude man, that totally sucks. I hope you stay seizure free bro, maybe you can get a job bike-riding distance from your place.
No Matter What You Do, LIVE!
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§pectre
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well Ben I told you in the pm my feelings about this situation, I dont feel it was anything big, just some minor things that needed to be resolved....I also posted in the pm and the other thread, I really would hate to lose you, as an officer, a member and a friend!! I hope you reconsider.

I know that God puts things in our lives for a reason, why is this happening to you.....why did all that unfortunate stuff happen to Job?? This is the time we all need to make our stand and reaffirm our love for God and praise Him in the storm...there is a song by, I cant remember, calle Praise Him in the storm, I love it so much and it reminds me that we cant just praise Him in the good times. My brother, I know you are a good man and God loves you, dont have any doubts in that!!! You will get through all this I know!!! Maybe even now than ever you need this forum, to stay connect to with Gods children, remember Iron sharpens Iron, and as you need us, we also need you. I hate to see things like this happen to people like you, full of life and promise, but like I said, God has a reason...talk to Him. You have my phone number...if u need, call me!! After all is said and done, you are still my friend and brother in Christ....dont go isolate yourself!!!!
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[hVn]Wr@ith
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geez ben this sucks. you are basically my best friend on these forums ever since caliber had to quit being as active. i really wish that you would keep hangin out on this board, even if its just a little bit.

is this a break or are you quitting for good? this sucks.
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Livestock: moof i do not like this plan and what do you need 2 million for anyway
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[hVn]MoToX
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Ben, Im prayin for you everyday. I know you are going to get through these hard times, but for the moment things are going to be really tough.

Quote:
 
BTW, I promise I'm not going to go postal or anything like that. If things can resolve themselves, then my life in this forum will continue.


Everything takes time, nothing is going to happen over night. You should take a step back and view things from another perspective, we want to support you. I hope you dont feel that these past events should cause you to leave our family, for we all love you and wish to have you as a part of AoG for as long as possible... We all forgive you for making a few foreign remarks, as for the bible says we should "forgive and forget"... Good luck, you are always welcome in AoG.
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Big Calson
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Thanks for all the support, guys. It's going to suck for awhile but on the 27th I'll be seeing the neurologist, who happens to be a Quaker and go to my meeting (church) as well).

I hope he gives me something other than this dialantin...it leaves me feeling very s p a c e d o u t .

I'll see if I can remain a little active; even staying awake with this stuff is kind of a challenge. Maybe I can sell it to some HS kid for an herbal remedy ;)

(^THAT IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY)

I think it was Dave who told me a few posts up to keep riding my bike. The doctor put the kibosh on that, but what he doesn't know...hehe

Oh and BTW, I keep trying to piece together what I was doing at the time this happened. I always thought people who had seizures sped off into a spaceship and talked with aliens & Jesus, but if that happened, I do not remember the details.

Finally, Arch, about the book of Job - I found this sentence in a Google search result which said, Some people become exasperated with the book of Job. It seems to go on and on and on repeating the same arguments over and over and then never coming to a definitive answer. In fact, that is exactly the way the problem of suffering is experienced.

Maybe it's the meds from Pluto, I just thought that was funny. :)

-Ben
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Schutzengel
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Thats really bad to hear. I can't really say that I've gotten to know you very well considering the only time we've really talked is on the forums and a few scant pm's here and there, but you are in my prayers. I honestly do hope that you can continue to be around, but keep in mind that seizures can also be caused by computer usage, depending on what type you had of course. If I were you, I'd refrain from using the computer for more than four hours at a time anyways, but then again, thats just me. Good luck man.
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[hVn]VillanovA
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whatever we can do man, just tell us, we can help ya bro.
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Kero
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wow i just saw this... heavy stuff...

Big C. youve been basically my mentor in the forums and one of my better friends. Your rants always add character to the posts lol

Im really sry to hear about your happenings and i hope you dont have to leave.

I pray that god be with you and your family can support you thru these times.

-Kero
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Big Calson
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Hey hey, cats, thought I'd give you some update per: my progress.

Pro: Getting a EEG on Wednesday.
Con: My insurance company doesn't want to pay for the MRI scan scheduled on the same day, which costs a couple thousand dollars.

Pro: I'm cold-chillin' for the next six months.
Con: OH YEAH BECAUSE LEGALLY I CAN'T DRIVE A CAR

Pro: Each day is a new experience.
Con: Because I have to take some mind-bending medicine.

Pro: I've been with this clan for A YEAR NOW!
Con: None. (!)

YAY!

On another note, I...need something to frickin' do! Give me some goals, people! Does our website need anything? Though I am spaced out, I can do my darnedest to get it done. PHP, java, anything, I'm wiling to spend some time to make this place a bit better. I'd probaby even do homework for you, I'm so bored sitting around my house. So let's get something done, otherwise I am going to go insane.

-Benjamino
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MoB SlayeR
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«A°G»Big Calson
Jan 1 2007, 12:06 AM
On another note, I...need something to frickin' do! Give me some goals, people! Does our website need anything? Though I am spaced out, I can do my darnedest to get it done. PHP, java, anything, I'm wiling to spend some time to make this place a bit better. I'd probaby even do homework for you, I'm so bored sitting around my house. So let's get something done, otherwise I am going to go insane.

-Benjamino

i no how ya feel man, i no how ya feel.
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“God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity still in the cloud, the oil still in the earth. How often we look upon God as our last and feeblest resource. We go to Him because we have nowhere else to go. And then we learn that the storms of life have driven us, not upon the rocks, but into the desired Haven.”
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[hVn]VillanovA
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«A°G»Big Calson
Jan 1 2007, 12:06 AM
Hey hey, cats, thought I'd give you some update per: my progress.

Pro: Getting a EEG on Wednesday.
Con: My insurance company doesn't want to pay for the MRI scan scheduled on the same day, which costs a couple thousand dollars.

Pro: I'm cold-chillin' for the next six months.
Con: OH YEAH BECAUSE LEGALLY I CAN'T DRIVE A CAR

Pro: Each day is a new experience.
Con: Because I have to take some mind-bending medicine.

Pro: I've been with this clan for A YEAR NOW!
Con: None. (!)

YAY!

On another note, I...need something to frickin' do! Give me some goals, people! Does our website need anything? Though I am spaced out, I can do my darnedest to get it done. PHP, java, anything, I'm wiling to spend some time to make this place a bit better. I'd probaby even do homework for you, I'm so bored sitting around my house. So let's get something done, otherwise I am going to go insane.

-Benjamino

hahaha! :laugh

well Ben, lets just get thankful for those warnings on Nintendo games that say "Warning, Seizures may occur", or else.. or else......

.........................

LOLZ jk man
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[hVn]RAZOR
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wow Ben
ive been away with the hollidays and family..very sorry to hear about your probs..God nevers gives us more than we can handle ..so your going to be just fine..i also have had some health issues ..so from experience I will tell you to keep a focused positive mind and all will be well...
i will be praying for you bro

God Bless
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