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Malcolm's First Rule - DON'T CALL THE PRESS
Topic Started: Jan 10 2014, 02:37 AM (483 Views)
Malcolm Foster
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Vice President

"Who in the frak leaked the bloody attack to the bloody frakking newscrews and those insufferable twats HAD to take a sky cam?" Malcolm shouted as he stormed into President's outer clerical office area. "Which of you stupid twits did that?" he slammed a binder padd on the desk.

"Malcom, shut the frak up." Clara said as she walked out of her office and over to him. "Why are you up everyone's ass?"

"Because it was someone from this den of harridans that those vulture reporters found out about that attack!" Malcolm looked around. "Who? Please just tell me who? So I can take the frakking pleasure of booting your frakking arse out the bloody door and having our cracker jack secretary Isabella threaten her or him with a stiletto blade."

"Uhm..." an older secretary said as she raised her finger. "I... I was scared."

"You were SCARED?" Malcolm walked over to her desk. "Well gee bloody frakking whiz! You were SCARED? And so your first idea is to call the PRESS?!"

"My... sister..." she said nervously.

"Your sister's a reporter? Of course she is..." Malcolm slammed a padd on her desk. "What is Malcolm's first rule of the press? My FIRST RULE?"

"Malcolm calls the press?" she replied

"Blimey! She has a brain cell in her head! YES! I call the press! Not a bleedin' secretary...!" Malcolm threw his hands up. "Clara! Fire this bitch and replace her." he said and grabbed his padds and walked out.

"Well... that went well." Clara sighed and gestured to her. "I think you should pack your things..."

-- Meanwhile

Malcolm was sitting in his office when the President walked in and held up a newspadd.

"I thought I paid you to make sure this doesn't..." he started to say

"Hey! This was not ME. This was some little fraktard in clerical, she called her bleedin' sister." Malcolm said as he stood up. "I tell everyone that ONLY I call the press in."

"My wife is pissed and you know what happens when the First Lady is pissed off." Nick said as he put the padd back in his pocket. "Make it go away."

"Aye sir." Malcolm saluted him.

Nick shook his head and sighed. "I swear if I knew I'd be surrounded by airheads I would have stayed an Admiral..."

"Welcome to politics sir." Malcolm said with a grin. "Where you get frakked ten times a day and you pray at least one of those is from your wife."
Malcolm Foster
Vice President
"I don't have a bleedin' swear jar, I have a bloody swear barrel!"
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Clara Coleman
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Clara walked out of the back office area and passed by Isabella's desk. "Can you do me a favor, post a opening for a new communications secretary? Needs to be fluent in Klingon and Rigellian. We had... let the previous one go." she shot a glare at the woman that was walking out toward the reception doors.

"You can all fuck yourselves!!" The woman said as she raised up two middle fingers.

"And make sure she never returns." Clara added. "Malcolm fired her."
Clara Coleman
Presidential Secretary
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Isabella Price
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"I could make her eat those if you want." Isabella replied with an evil grin.
President Isabella Price
Founder of the Swear Jar for War Orphans Fund

"Yes I'm a natural redhead jackass"
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Clara Coleman
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"As fun as that would be..." Clara giggled. "Just make sure her security passes don't work and monitor any comms for things like 'kill', 'attack', 'going to beat him bloody with a stick'."
Clara Coleman
Presidential Secretary
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wanda
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"I guess I am here at the perfect time." said Wanda as she had just entered the area. "I am fluent in Klingon, Rigellian, Vulcan, Rihannsu or Romulan if you prefer, and more languages that I could recite to make myself look really big. I guess I have perfect timing, as I was just actually here to see you." she said as she looked at Isabella. "But I thought I would jump at the opportunity as we all know, opportunity only knocks once. I could translate that to Klingon, Rigellian, Vulcan, Rihannsu or Romulan if you wish, or even Elvish if that would make your day."
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Isabella Price
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"You want to talk to Clara she does the hiring I just twist arms, break fingers, and throw people out on their asses in the snow." Isabella stated matter of fact with a smile on her features as she pulled open her top desk drawer. She fished some change from her pocket and tossed it into her swear jar and then closed her drawer again.
Edited by Isabella Price, Jan 13 2014, 12:23 AM.
President Isabella Price
Founder of the Swear Jar for War Orphans Fund

"Yes I'm a natural redhead jackass"
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wanda
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"Yes but Clara is not my niece or at least you will be when you are born.. but now that you are here..." Wanda shrugged and scratched her head. "You travelers are so damn confusing. Suffice it to say, I am your father's long lost sister... and for some reason I was meant to come here and speak with you. Maybe its good timing that I am meant to be here to hopefully get this job." she said as she winked to Clara. "So what do I have to do to get this job?"
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Isabella Price
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"We're kind of keeping that quiet." Isabella whispered. "My 'uncle' is Eli. So its Isabella Mathers."
President Isabella Price
Founder of the Swear Jar for War Orphans Fund

"Yes I'm a natural redhead jackass"
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wanda
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Now Wanda was really confused. "So Eli is your uncle, but I am not your aunt?" She sighed. "You can try to keep it quiet but even the President would tell you that's not always possible. There are those that know who you are, where you came from, and what you are doing here. Most of those are on the side of the good, but others... Let's just say you can't be here without some people knowing you don't belong. Believe me, I get that all the time... no where to belong."
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Isabella Price
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"It's a cover I'm just staying with Eli." Isabella whispered back as she looked around the office and leaned forward on her desk. "We aren't advertising who my parents really are. Incase Bloodstone or some other party decide they can't get my mom so why not go after the kid. Though I'd kick their asses if they tried." Isabella added as she fished out some more change from her pocket, opened her desk drawer, and fed the swear jar.
Edited by Isabella Price, Jan 13 2014, 11:14 AM.
President Isabella Price
Founder of the Swear Jar for War Orphans Fund

"Yes I'm a natural redhead jackass"
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Clara Coleman
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Clara handed her a padd. "Fill this out, any references, and enough info for us to do a background check and make sure you're not a spy, if you are, off you pop." she grinned. "Leave the padd with Isabella and I'll contact you."
Clara Coleman
Presidential Secretary
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wanda
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Wanda walked closer to Isabella so only she could really hear. "I hate to tell you this, something you should already know, when there is one, there is another. As many 'traveler's we have on our side, there are just as many against us. I can almost guarantee that 'someone's knows who and what you are, but they may target you for what you may do in the future as much as your parents. I was just hoping you could get me in touch with your dear father, since he seems to have just forgotten about me."

She spoke a little louder now, addressing Clara. "I already filled this one out." she said, and handed it to Clara. "I can't explain why I have this, but I do. I was going to do a lot of cold-calling, trying to get a job to keep myself busy since I seem to be all alone here."
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Clara Coleman
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"Well that certainly makes life a lot easier." Clara said as she took what Wanda gave her. "I'll tell you what, since you clearly are looking for work of some kind, come in tomorrow, we'll get you set up. Regardless where we put you, you'll have work."
Clara Coleman
Presidential Secretary
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wanda
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"I would be happy to be of assistance." Wanda said, smiling in relief. "I don't know how to explain it, whether it is because Isabella is here or not... but I just felt drawn to this place. So yeah, if I can help, I'd love it."
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Amazon Assassins
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"Oh and here I was going to apply for the job." said Joanna as she walked up to them. "I mean I do already have a job, but being an assassin is just so boring... especially if they never see it coming."

She put her hands up a little and laughed. "Seriously, I'm not armed. I don't kill sisters... girl power and all that. I just thought I would come and try for a career change. So what do you say? Got any work for me to do? I don't care what side I'm on, I only kill the deserving ones... and I have never killed an innocent yet."
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